THE GATEWAY
volume XCiii number 3 « the official student newspaper at the university of alberta « www.gateway.ualberta.ca « tuesday, 9 september, 2003
CORY WANLESS
IT TAKES TWO, BABY Golden Bears receiver Andrew Ford (18) is hauled down by two Saskatchewan Huskies. Full game story is on page 16.
Bearscat picked up by SU
KRISTINE OWRAM News Editor
The student-created registration pro- gram Bearscat is becoming a roaring success now that the SU has adopted it as a workable alternative to the U of A’s current system, Beartracks.
The Students’ Union decided to take up the maintenance of Bearscat when they were offered $17 500 by the University administration at the end of last school year, according to SU Vice-President (Academic) Janet Lo.
“The University offered the Students’ Union the money to increase our tech- nical services and just to help us out in general, and we chose to spend the money on Bearscat,” said Lo.
“We felt that it was a phenomenal service for students. A lot of students are looking for easier ways to regis- ter, and in the long run it will help a lot of students and make their lives easier.”
While the SU’s technical service will maintain Bearscat, creator and sec- ond-year computing science student Stephen Kirkham will still be respon- sible for the program itself:
PLEASE SEE BEARSCAT + PAGE 3
After hours program seeks to make campus a safer place
CAITLIN CRAWSHAW Associate News Editor
Working alone on campus has just become a lot less lonely, thanks to a new program recently implemented by Campus Security.
The Lone Worker Program allows both University staff and students to register with Campus Security, provid- ing their whereabouts on campus after hours as well as vital information such as emergency contacts.
In this way, Campus Security staff can verify that an individual is safe through a telephone call or visit to the area.
“People can call in and say, ‘Tm not comfortable working alone; would you mind stopping in or giving me a phone call and we can touch base?” said program initiator Constable Grace Berry.
“In the event that we did that, we could reach them by telephone, or if they requested a personal visit and we can't locate them, that’s when we'd use the personal information that they'd provided us with.”
Berry developed the program last June, when an incident on campus inspired her to create a security option for students and staff working alone.
“We had an incident last year involv-
ing a female student on campus who was followed, and it really made me think about what services we have available to make people more secure on campus,” Berry said.
“We had an incident last year involving a female student on campus who was followed, and it really made me think about what services we have available to make people more secure on
”
campus.
CONSTABLE GRACE BERRY, CAMPUS SECURITY
While Safewalk assists students on their way home or to their vehicles, nothing thus far has been geared spe- cifically to protect people while work- ing. Berry describes the Lone Worker Program as an extension of Safewalk.
A large component of the program is educational, emphasizing the importance of taking one’s personal safety seriously, according to Berry.
PLEASESEE SECURITY * PAGE 3
Mexican exchange program could improve
Albertas public teaching
COSANNA PRESTON Associate News Editor
A new project is in the works to help Alberta public schools keep up with the demand for Spanish teach- ers. An exchange program, based on one already developed for Spanish students, will allow Spanish teachers from Mexico to help alleviate teaching pressures in Alberta.
Announced in mid-August by Alberta Learning Minister Lyle Oberg, U of A International, the body that manages the International Centre on campus, will conduct a two-term research project.
The research project will look into building the capacity of Spanish teach- ers in Alberta and English teachers in Alberta's sister province Jalisco, Mexico.
At the heart of the project is the exchange program, which will allow education students to learn the language, be immersed in the cul- ture and acquire teaching experience abroad.
“The objectives are for us to build our capacities to provide Spanish lan- guage teaching in the public schools, secondary schools, and at the post secondary level,” said Rae McDonald, director of international relations at
ie aid
eg
resources
iS: SHAWN BENBOW
PROMOTING INTERNATIONALISM Rae McDonald of U of A International.
U of A International and one of the key co-ordinators of the exchange research project.
“We know that [Jalisco’s] objective is to increase their ability to teach in English. So obviously we are going to try to find ways to set up programs that will meet both of our needs.”
The U of A and the province of Jalisco celebrated the tenth anniver- sary of their formal student exchange programs this year, so the timing for
the expansion could not be more fit- ting.
McDonald hopes to develop a better understanding of Jalisco’s school system, education ministry, and their educational wants and needs. She then wants to see this information com- pared to Alberta’s and hopefully pro- duce a report that will help the partners facilitate better Ianguage and cross- cultural training.
PLEASE SEE EXCHANGE ¢ PAGE 2
eiacaesor| Inside | Outside gs telltale signs of a the earth’s PT" impending implo- Tuesday Rain, Jodie Foster trades bodies sion, no one’s real- News 1-4 | with Barbara Harris. Freaky!; High 11, Low 11 ized we're doomed. Opinion 5-8 | Wednesday Sun, Gaby Hoffman/Shelley Long Except for Opinion A&E 9-12 | switcher-oo. Freaky!; High 21, Low6 HES Se: Features 14-15 | Thursday Sun and cloud, Lindsey Lohan swapped Find eee se 2 Sports 16-17 for Jamie Lee Curtis. Freaky!; High 17, Low 6 ciate : 2 Friday Chance of showers, People think remakes death and PUPPC> Comics 19 | are hot. Freaky!; High 17, Low 6 before it’stoolate. | Classifieds 20 | souwce-Environment Canada
From the archives
Around this time, the Students’ Union at the time was fervently campaigning for money in order to adopt an Vietnamese boat family. Yes indeed, an actual family, of Vietnamese origin, who would be supported by the SU, and who would apparently require legally binding adoption papers. During this time, many Vietnamese refugees were fleeing Vietnam for Canada. However, without a means of helping them move to Canada successfully, the legal adoption of these refugees has questionable implications and certain comic possibilities. For instance, does the SU continue to play Canadian mommy and daddy to this potentially lovable boat family to this day? And if so, does this make Mat Brechtel their dad?
1979
1 ) Take that, prom date! The girls in Lillix are hot but they insist they are also musicians or something. I’m not entirely convinced. Tum to page ten ' and see if they convince you.
2 NEWS
tuesday. 9 september, 2003
THE GATEWAY
tuesday, 9 , 2003
september, volume XClll number 3
Published since 21 November, 1910 Grculation 10000 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 Students’ Union Building University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta T6G 257
Telephone 780.492.5168 Fax 780.492.6665 E-mail gateway@gateway.ualberta.ca
editorialstaff
EDITOR-N-CHIEF Chris Boutet eic@gateway.ualberta.ca | 4925168
MANAGING EDITOR Adam Rozenhart managing@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6663
NEWS EDITOR Kristine Owram news@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.7308
ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITORS
Gaitlin Cawshaw Caitlin@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6664 Cosanna Preston cosanna@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6664
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Heather Adler entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492-7052
SPORTS EDITOR Joel Chury sports@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6652
FEATURES EDITOR Leah Collins features@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6654
PHOTO EDITOR Shawn Benbow photo@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6648
PRODUCTION EDITOR Daniel Kaszor production@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6661
businessstaff
ADVERTISING SALES REPRESENTATIVE Patrick Cziolek sales@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6700
ADIGRAPHIC DESIGNER Dave Leriger design@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6647
Don lveson biz@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6669
CIRGULATION MANAGER Steven Lillebuen circulation@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.5168
THE GATEWAY is published by the Gateway Student Journalism Society (GSJS),a student-run, autonomous, apolitical not-for-profit organization, operated in accordance with the Societies Act of Alberta.
THE GATEWAY is proud to be a founding member of the Canadian University Press.
s complaints nied Sac. or complaints about the Gateway’s content or operations should be first sent to the Editor-in-Chief at the address above. If the Editor- in-Chief is unable to resolve a complaint, it may be taken to the Gateway Student Journalism Society's Board of Directors; beyond that, appeal is to the non- partisan Society OmbudsBoard. The chairs of the Board of Directors and the OmbudsBoard can be reached at the address above.
All iS A appearing in the Gateway bear copyright of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent.
hd se disclaimer Opinions expressed in the pages of the Gateway are expressly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Gateway or the Gateway Student Journalism Society.
The Gateway is created using Apple Macintosh computers, Hewlett-Packard Scanjet 3c and Umax Astra 600s flatbed scanners, and a Canon Canoscan FS4000VS optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used for layout. Adobe Illustrator is used for vector images, while Adobe Photoshop is used for raster images. Adobe Acrobat is used to create PDF files which are burned directly to plates to be mounted on the printing press. Text is set in a variety of sizes, styles, and weights of Fenice, Kepler, Joanna, and Aroma. Our games of choice are TheLegend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, EVO, Chrono Trigger and Halo.
contributors
Barrie Tanner, Kerry Precht, Erin Loxam, Bryan Lee, Sarah Hanasyk, Mark Barker, Tyson Durst, Asia Szkudlarek, Bill Benson, Megan Simko, Lloyd Majeau, Mike Winters, Phil Head, James “Photog” Johnson, Rotating Dog, Adam Houston, Joshua Kupsch, Mark N Barker, Matt Frehner, Ariel Brunn, Maylene Loveland, Katie Tweedie, Rose Nijhawan, Jhenifer Pabillano, Cory Wanless, Brendan Procé, Leanne Fong, Dave Morgan. And apparently this list of contributors isn’t funny enough for Chris “Hitler” Boutet. Well, that’s too bad, isn’t it, you overbearing dictator?
Engineer geared up with $50 000 in scholarships
A profile on scholarship
CAITLIN CRAWSHAW Associate News Editor
Kenneth Chau wants this article to be as short as possible and shies away from the camera when his picture is taken.
The recent recipient of over $50 000 in scholarships, 22-year-old Chau is in his first year of a master’s degree in engineering physics, after com- pleting his undergraduate engineer- ing degree at the U of A.
His awards include the $25 000 Juliette Payette National Sciences & Engineering Research Council Scholarship, a Walter Johns U of A scholarship worth $4200, a $6000 Alberta Ingenuity Award, an Alberta Ingenuity Research Grant of $1500, as well as a Ralph Steinhauer Alberta Heritage Fund Scholarship of $15 000.
Yet Chau is reluctant to speak of his achievements.
“Well first of all I'd like to stress that they were capped, right, so that not everything would go to one stu- dent, to make sure everyone gets a fair share—I'd just like to specify that. Other than that, it’s just some com- petitions, I guess. A couple national, a couple provincial and a couple U of A, that’s about it. There’s nothing special about them.”
Chau is amiable and easygoing, but speaks carefully, admitting to being concerned with the amount of atten- tion his achievements have brought.
“I think that anybody could do it, so I don’t feel that I deserve all this attention. That’s how I feel right now— feel that I haven't really done anything. I feel a bit awkward.”
Instead, Chau credits the support of others for his successes, rather than his own talent. Chau begins to name his parents as his greatest source of motivation and support, but corrects himself quickly.
“But it would also be people like
my friends, and my girlfriend is really supportive, so it’s not me—it's not me at all. It's other people around me. My sister and my girlfriend are two influential people and figures in my life. And my classmates too. There's so many people I can’t even really specify them.”
Currently specializing in ultrafast photonics, Chau speaks candidly of his choice to become an engineer over becoming a physiotherapist.
“I was going to go into physiother- apy actually. I was already ready to go in, it was a last-minute decision,” says Chau.
“I guess the underlying thing is how you maximize how you help society. So physiotherapy’s something I wanted to do, but I felt that I had more interest in engineering, and thought it was a better way of help-
ing people.”
recipient and engineering student Kenneth Chau
SUCCESSFUL BUT MODEST Engineering master’s student Kenneth Chau.
In spite of his achievements, Chau has chosen to remain at the U of A for his master’s degree.
“I stayed because I have it too good here. It’s too hard to leave, so I just decided not to. And I love the U of A; it's been a really good experience.”
Chau is open to many possibilities for his future.
“Tve been thinking about being a professor. Actually, [used to be a youth worker, so I like working with people and helping them out. So that's some- thing I might want to do. I also might try industry,” muses Chau.
Ultimately, Chau hopes that his success will inspire, and not discour- age, students.
“T think anybody in my situation could do the same thing,” he argues.
Chau’s advice to students: “Above all else, be honest with what you want and try to find balance.”
Exchange will strengthen ties between Alberta and Jalisco
EXCHANGE * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
The report, which will be finished at the end of this school year, will include a series of recommendations and some potential programs. Coordinators are also hoping to see programs that allow for students to complete their practi- cums in Mexico and eventually allow practising teachers to participate in professional development abroad.
Judith Ellis, the education advisor at the University’s International Centre, is excited about the proposed exchange and what it will mean for future U of A students.
Almost 200 U of A students have participated in some form of exchange with Jalisco in the past ten years. One hundred and seventy of those have par- ticipated in the month-long intensive summer language exchange, which was only developed five years ago. Ellis sees this new teacher exchange as a continuing push for opportunities.
“I think it’s a fantastic opportunity to really strengthen the links [between Jalisco and Alberta]. The teacher exchange is going to have an impact far beyond just the university level,” said Ellis
“[The students] are going to get some authentic Spanish language train- ing and exposing our kids to different cultures can only be a good thing. The ones that come up here, same thing, it’s a win-win situation.”
Ultimately, McDonald would like to see teaching practicums available not just in Jalisco but overseas in general for U of A education students.
“[U of A International] is using this as a model and they are hoping they are going to be able to expand based on this model,” said Ellis. “Hopefully it will have a far-reaching impact that will be seen in other places too.”
CAMPUS CRIME BEAT
Compiled by Barrie Tanner (btanner@ualberta.ca)
SHARP EYES CATCH A THIEF
On 1 September at about 7pm, a staff member in the Extension Center reported a door that had not been secured properly. He then noticed a suspicious-looking male enter through the door and head upstairs. University Constables were dispatched to the area, where after a brief search they located and identified the male. He had already been trespassed from University, had a history of violence, weapons and theft. He was arrested and drug paraphernalia was recovered after a more exhaustive search at Campus Security cells.
FOLLOW THE DRUNKEN MASTERS
At about 2:30am on 2 September, a staff member phoned to complain that two males were painting on a sidewalk between 88 and 89 Avenue on 111 Street. Officers arrived to find two intoxicated males, one subject’s feet covered with paint as he left footprints from the Powerplant to the Law Building. There wasacan of paint anda full tray nearby. He was arrested for public intoxication, and was given the option of cleaning the paint or facing the charges. He was observed cleaning the pavement the following day.
ALMOST THERE... In the early morning hours of 2 September, officers were tipped off that
a man was passed out, prone position, on the corner of 111 Street and 87 Avenue.Constables arrived, arrested him for public intoxication, and took him back to cells. Once his identity was con- firmed, it was discovered he was a stu- dent. Charges were not pursued, and he was handed over to staff at his residence in Garneau.
POWERPLANT AGHTS DISPERSED
On 3 September just past midnight, Powerplant staff contacted Campus Security to report several fights on stage. Edmonton Police Constables were on hand and, together with University Constables, got the situation under con- trol within minutes. A tag was issued to a non-student for Conduct Injurious to Health or Safety in a Licensed Premises, a $172 hit. He and his buddies were escorted from campus.
CYCLIST IN COLLISION WITHETS BUS
On 3 September at about 9:45am, a male cyclist was in a collision with an ETS bus. Emergency crews arrived on scene and, as head injuries were likely, the victim was transported to University hospital. He was not affiliated with the University.
MOST EXPENSIVE BREAK OF THE DAY
On 4 September at 1:40pm, a mer- chant in HUB was counting money in his office, left for a few moments and returned to find the money gone. Between $8000-$10 000 was reported missing.
PETTY CRIMINALS PUMPED UP IN VAN VUET On 4 September at 7pm, officers
responded to a complaint of some abusive males refusing to move their gym bags in Van Vliet workout center. Constables arrived andinformed the two of them they had to leave. Neither were students or had purchased a member- ship to the gym. Witnesses described the two as “extremely belligerent and abusive” towards staff. They were identi- fied and trespassed from campus. Both had prior criminal records.
REMEMBER THAT GUY?
At 11:15pm on 4 September, an auxil- iary officer recognized a male loitering with a group of students near La Pasta in HUB mall. He was identified and, sure enough, he had been trespassed from campus for weapons and theft-related crimes. He also had a record for vio- lence, firearms and break and enter, as well as three outstanding warrants with Edmonton Police. He was arrested, transported to cells and handed over to Edmonton Police.
CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THAT
At about 2:30am on 5 September, Campus Security received a call ofa fight taking place at a fraternity house on 87 Avenue and 110 Street. The alterca- tion stemmed from a group of males who entered the fraternity's property and allegedly began destroying signs. Naturally, they were pounced. Since the victims were the instigators, no charges were laid.
On 5 September just before 10pm, Constables receivedacallofanextremely intoxicated female in Lister hall. They
arrived and found her unresponsive and vomiting after having consumed a large amount of hard liquor. She was trans- ported to hospital in an ambulance. And so begins the year.
FRAT PARTY OVERFLOWS
On 5 September at 11:30pm, a keg beer line ruptured in the basement of a fraternity house on 87 Avenue and 110 Street, forcing a raging party out- side onto the grass. Hundreds of people were in the vicinity and there were sev- eral reports of drunken partygoers fall- ing onto 87 Avenue and carrying open liquor...
Numerous Edmonton Police units were in the area and, with help from Campus Constables and Air One, the crowd was dispersed by 12:15. A noise bylaw fine was also issued.
BUSTED BY THE BUS DRIVER
At 11:15pm on 6 September, a Student Auxiliary officer responded to a blue- phoneactivation near HUB Mall. The offi- cerfoundanETS busdriverholdingaman he claimed had spit on him. Constables assisted in the arrest for assault. The man was not a student, had a record for theft and was wanted by authorities in Fort Saskatchewan. He was handed over to Edmonton Police.
FORMER STUDENT CAUGHT IN THE ACT On 7 September just before 6pm, a Constable spotted a male tampering with a vending machine in V-Wing with a knife in hand. She ordered him to drop the weapon, which he did, and she promptly arrested him as backup arrived. The former student was trespassed from campus and his 7” knife confiscated.
THE GATEWAY + volume XCUI number 3
NEWS
3
STREETERS
Compiled and photographed byKerryPrecht
Campus Security recently introduced a new program to check up on the safety of people working on campus after hours.
How safe do you feel on campus?
Lauren Andres Anthropology II
| feel comfortable, but | have a bit of an invincible attitude towards things. | know Safewalk is there, and I’ve used it before, so it’s encouraging that there’s programs out there that are available to make people feel safe. I've heard stories, but | don’t worry about them.
Jessica Neufeld Education Ill
| feel safe on campus, because | feel that students have respect for other stu- dents, and they won't take someone else’s stuff because they don’t want their stuff taken. As for walking around at night, | feel safe just because there’s lots of students around, and there’s opportu- nities like Safewalk if you do feel unsafe.
Brandon Nichols Science IV
I've walked around campus until five in the morning, and I've never had a prob- lem with bullying or my overall physical safety. One concern of mine is when | do leave my stuff in the library, | don’t like to leave it for very long.
Andrew Lui Science III
| think this campus is pretty safe, and generally when I’ve been here until nine at night, it’s not someplace where | really have to worry about myself. There are a lot of people, so you have to take cau- tion of where you leave your bag and how close it is to you though. I’m always around places that are crowded, so I've never really experienced any threats to my safety.
BEARSCAT * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
“The Students’ Union has been gra- cious enough to host and maintain the actual physical server that Bearscat is on, but I’m still in charge of most of the support, the actual design of the system, changes to the system, and features of the system,” explained Kirkham.
Kirkham originally conceived of the idea for Bearscat last March when he saw an ad in the Gateway stating the Registrar’s Office was no longer going to be publishing the registration pro- cedures guide, which contained a grid for students to design their schedules.
“As soon as I heard that, I phoned the Registrar's Office. I talked to a couple of people there who were not very helpful, and they basically said, “Yes, all students have access to a com- puter, and yes, we're forcing students to use a computer to design their schedules and register in classes,” said Kirkham.
“That’s fine, except students can’t even see what courses they can take on Sundays. Plus, they’re expected to be in front of a computer and look at all these individual long lists of all the dif- ferent classes. So at that point I started talking to a couple of my friends to come up with a name, that evening I registered Bearscat.ca, and five days later it was online.”
Originally, the main feature Bearscat offered over Beartracks was the ability to create a colour-coded schedule grid of one’s classes online.
However, students would then have to take that schedule and register on Beartracks, and Bearscat wasn’t a reg- istered student service. Now that it has been adopted by the SU, however, stu- dents can use Bearscat to both create
MATT FREHNER MAKING REGISTRATION EASIER Stephen Kirkham, developer of Bearscat.
New features abound in latest version of Bearscat
their schedules and to register online.
New services included in Bearscat since the SU-maintained version was released on 1 September include an e-mail notification system that alerts students when their marks are posted at the end of the term and when spaces open in previously full classes, as well as a one-click registration system that allows students to design their sched- ule grids and then register in all their classes at once.
While Beartracks does not yet offer any of these services, Dean of Students Bill Connor assures students that the program is still being developed.
“T think there will be a point some- time down the line when Beartracks develops the functionality that may make Bearscat less needed, but it cer- tainly serves a purpose right now,” he said. “Like most services offered by the Students’ Union, it complements what the University has to offer.”
Whether Bearscat will continue to be needed in the future or not, Kirkham continues to devote most of his free time to running it.
“I couldn't even start guessing on the number of hours I spend running Bearscat,” he said. “I spent a great por- tion of my summer developing the new version, and even this week I’ve spent hours each evening answering e-mails from students and monitoring the service to make sure it’s function- ing properly and tweaking things here and there, and I'll continue to imple- ment new features as the year pro-
gresses.” Bearscat can be viewed _ at bearscat.su.ualberta.ca. Students are
reminded to always confirm their reg- istration went through with Beartracks, available at www.beartracks.ualberta.ca.
Program aims to educate staff and students about safety
SECURITY * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
“I think that because we're at the U of A, it is a small community, we're still very safe. But the reality is that though statistically that is proven to be true, we're not immune to the types of things that happen outside of our campus or at other universities,” explained Berry.
“So that’s one of our goals, to try to raise awareness about personal safety on campus, and the fact that whatever we see happen outside of the University—in the city of Edmonton, in the province, or across the coun- try—it could very well be happening on campus as well.”
Beyond the educational and security goals of the program, Berry empha-
sizes the program's existence as a bridge between Campus Security and the University.
“[The Lone Worker Program] is
there to create a partnership between }
Campus Security and the campus com- munity. And in doing that we're not only offering a service, but we're offer- ing a more personalized service,” she said. “We want to try to develop relationships between our members and the students and staff at the University.”
The Lone Worker Program runs Monday to Friday from 10pm to 7am, and 24 hours a day during weekends and holidays.
For more information, visit www.cps.ualberta.ca/LoneWorker.asp.
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
Orientation Progams Coordinator
—— UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA], Supervise and oversee the Orientation programming Committees to NI ensure that mandates of each committee are met and the vision of Orientation is realized.
2. Update and keep organized the filing system and computer files in addition to general administrative duties.
3. Submit regular monthly, semester, and final reports and projects reports when requested to the Orientation Manager.
4. Chair and provide administrative support to various committees as required, and report the progress of the committees to the Orientation Manager.
5. Develop and manage the content for the Orientation Web page.
6. Develop the content for banners, posters, printed material and other marketing tools for Orientation.
7. Write and solicit articles as required for the Campus Orientation Newsletter.
8. Prepare the content for Orientation communications including but not limited to: Handbook Content, Pre-Orientation Newsletter, Post- Orientation Gateway Supplement, Parent Orientation and SOAP Pamphlets. .
9. Work in conjunction with the Marketing department of the Students’ Union to ensure all publications are completed in a timely fashion.
Orientation Volunteer Coordinator
1. Supervise and manage Orientation volunteers including: the recruitment, interviewing, training, evaluation, supervision, coordination and discipline and/or dismissal of volunteers.
2. Plan and/or participate regularly in formal and informal volunteer events.
3. Chair and provide administrative support to various committees as required, and report the progress of the committees to the Orientation Manager.
4. Submit regular monthly, semester, and final reports and projects reports when requested to the Orientation Manager. Final reports must be submitted no later than September 20th.
5. Promote the orientation services offered by the Students’ Union and the University.
6. Assist with improving communication between students and the Students’ Union.
7. Promote volunteerism with the Orientation Service.
8. Coordinate and facilitate the summer phone out program.
1. Must be an undergraduate student at the University of Alberta and maintain enrolment in at least one course in each of the fall and winter sessions during the term of employment.
2. Must have excellent communication and interpersonal skills, and a willingness to provide exemplary customer service.
3. Must have satisfactory academic standing.
» 4. Must be able to deal effectively with Students’ Union and University staff, students and the general public.
5. A minimum of one (1) year of orientation experience will be considered an asset.
6. Computer skills and public speaking experience will be considered an
asset. October 1, 2003 to September 30, 2004
October to April, and September: minimum 25 hours/ week; $990.00/ _ month May to August: minimum 35 hours/ week; $1209.00/ month
This is a Union exempt position.
Please submit a cover letter, résumé detailing your skills and experience related to the position, along with 3 references to:
Norma Rodenburg
Suite 0-26 Students’ Union Building,
University of Alberta, T6G 2]7
If you have questions about the position or would like a more detailed copy of the job description please contact:
Norma Rodenburg via phone: 492-4086
or e-mail: norma.rodenburg@su.ualberta.ca
Application Deadline: September 15 at 4:00 p.m
Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted. If you would like to review all Students’ Union job postings, they can be found at this website: www.su.ualberta.ca/work/paid
4 NATIONAL NEWS
tuesday, 9 september, 2003
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY STUDENTS’ UNION ELECTIONS
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA
Poll Clerks (40 needed)
- Work part time on 2 voting days (September 23 & 24) - Supervise polling stations
-Wage: $6.50 per hour
- Application deadline: September 11th, 2003
Applications available at SU Info. Booths in SUB, CAB and HUB, and at 2-900 SUB.
If you would like to review all Students’ Union job postings, they can be found at this website: www.su.ualberta.ca/work/sujobs
rapped:
“
Apply to the Access Fund for financial assistance.
The deadline for the first fall application period is September 26th.
The Access Fund is non-repayable undergraduate financial assistance.
NB
x Aicees — Fund
; »
Students Helping Students
Undergraduate Financial Assistance
1-80 SUB | Monday to Friday 8:30am-4:30pm | 492-3483 access.fund@su.ualberta.ca | www.su.ualberta.ca/accessfund
+
= is ss! <a ee
Theme creed
BOR Ene Poe try
he thonptag
Sheet Fed
Standard Single-sided
e hotocopyi ng
sf oe #4 Yat 021 Lover Level Students Union Building. Monday to Friday 9:00am. -S00pm =~ cal492-9113 : emaitprintcentre@suvalbertaca-
NATIONAL NEWS BRIEFS
Compiled by CosannaPreston
HUNGER STRIKER TARGETS HOSPITAL FUNDING
MONTREAL (CUP)—Robert Wilson has not moved in 20 days. Sitting with a large white sign and a jug of water in front of the Christ Church Cathedral, he says he won't budge until the government acknowledges what he believes is a dete- riorating standard of care and treatment in Canadian hospitals.
Wilson entered the emergency room of the Royal Victoria Hospital on 14 August, complaining of severe neck pain and migraines. After allegedly wait- ing ten hours to see a doctor, Wilson was given a few pills and left in the hall “over- night with no access to a nurse.’ The next morning, he says that he was ver- bally abused by security and thrown out of the hospital.
Blaming this incident on a lack of gov- ernment funding and an overworked staff, he took his grievance to the street.
Sheila Moore, the director of commu-
} nications for the Royal Victoria Hospital,
said tight funding is a challenge but not
} an impediment to providing health ser-
vices. Moore said that patients some- times wait but are never neglected.
Moore added she had a hard time believing that the security staff were aggressive towards Wilson.
Asked howhe felt having not eaten for twenty days, Wilson replied, “I’m start- ing to look at car tires like onion rings. [But] | won't go away.”
Joshua Ginsberg, The McGill Daily
HAWAII GAY MARRIAGE ACTIVISTS GET HITCHED IN VANCOUVER
VANCOUVER (CUP)—Hawaiian shirts, leis and music filled the reception area of a Vancouver hotel as two US gay activ- ists who've waited years finally tied the knot over the weekend.
The marriage of Bill Woods and Lance Bateman of Hawaii was also used by the couple to put pressure on the United States to follow Canada’s lead and recog- nize same-sex marriage.
The marriage, officiated by Texas Reverend Diane Baker, had New Democrat MP Svend Robinson give the blessing, using a modified version of the vows from a heterosexual wedding that included no reference to religion.
“We are witnessing history today « | look forward to the day when American childrenare reciting the Pledge of Allegiance that there is truly ‘liberty and justice for all; “ he said.
Several US states currently have law- suits pending from gay couples asking for the right to marry under civil law.
The Chrétien government has drafted legislation allowing same-sex marriage in Canada and has sent it to the Supreme Court, seeking an opinion on its con- stitutionality. Robinson said he expects the bill to pass and that legal recogni- tion of same-sex marriage will eventu- ally happen in the US as well.
Woods also said that Canada’s move to make same-sex marriage legal means that gay couples will flock north to get hitched by the thousands, bringing loads of tourist dollars with them.
“Hawaii used to be the marriage capi- tal of the world but I'm here as an emis- sary saying that British Columbia now deserves the title of marriage capital of the world,” he said.
Kevin Groves, BC Bureau
NEWFOUNDLAND AUTO INSURANCE DEBATE HEATING UP
ST JOHN’S (CUP)—Young drivers are looking to receive large reductions in insurance premiums as high auto insur- ance costs are debated with pre-election enthusiasm.
The Liberal government released their proposal last week. It removes pain and suffering claims from mandatory insur- ance, and eliminates rate-determining factors that are unrelated to a person’s driving record, such as age or marital status. Combined, these two reforms could result in a 50- to 70-per-cent drop inpremiums for most young drivers.
The Liberals’ proposal was not wel- comed by the insurance industry. Tom Hickey from the Insurance Brokers Association of Newfoundland ques- tioned the feasibility.
“There is far too much regulation. We have worries that the insurance com- panies won't continue to do business here.”
However, Liberal spokesman Mackey
Make a difference to an Elementary or Junior High Student
We need students who will tutor at least one hour a week,
king with
Th
irsday, September 18 and 9:00 a.rr Friday, September 19 Education Building Cafeteria
For info. call Marlee Maguire at 419-2677 or Barbara Cragg at 429-8265
Edmonton Catholic Schools
on academics and self-est:
We’re Recruiting
n.-3:30 p.m
joor, Ed North)
y, September 22 and 1.-3:30 pur eptember 23 Tory - Business Atrium
ss EDMONTON PUBLIC SCHOOLS
fencer
@HANDMARK’
Mae Store
mma
Handmark’s Leading Line of PDA Software!
www.handmark.com
Available at the U of A Microstore Basement, Students’ Union Building
defended his party's proposal. “85 per cent of young drivers don’t have acci- dents, so why should they be prejudged and subsidize everybody else?”
Many students are pleased about the planned changes to insurance rates that will make it more feasible for them to own Cars.
But Hickey remains reluctant about the changes. He said that the changes were great for young drivers but unfair to others who will have to pay higher rates to subsidize them. Statistically young drivers have more accidents and more severe accidents so reducing their rates will consequently raise everyone else's.
Nadya Bell, The Muse
AVERAGE TUITION IN CANADA UP 7.4 PER CENT
MONTREAL (CUP)—Canadian university students this year are paying tuition fees averaging 7.4 per cent higher than last year.
The increase is the highest in the last three years, according to the latest Statistics Canada study.
Of the ten provinces, only Newfoundland and Labrador scaled back tuition fees (19 per cent over the last five years).
British Columbia will register the coun- try’s largest increase in average under- graduate fees forthe secondconsecutive year in 2003-2004. Fees are up 30.4 per cent this year, after last year’s 25.7 per cent rise.
Tuition in Nova Scotia is still the high- est in the country, where students pay an average of $5557, $1500 more than the national average.
According to Canadian Federation of Students National Chairperson lan Boyko, low- and moderate-income Canadians have suffered greatly because of the remarkable increase in tuition rates across the country over the last ten years.
“We are literally choking off access to higher education because of the high up-front user fees,” said Boyko.
A study CFS conducted in 1999 based on federal statistics revealed that more than 100 000 individuals were deterred from post-secondary education because of rising tuition. That number, he said, has likely increased since 1999, as tuition rates continue to climb.
Dave Weatherall, Quebec Bureau
News = awesome.
So awesome we drink gross beer
out of kegs promoting our section.
That’s why you should write for us.
Come toa news meeting Tuesdays
at 4, and you too can learn to say
things like “awesome” when you really mean “lame.”
THE GATEWAY
Something something since 1910.
OPINION
managing@gateway.ualberta.ca + tuesday, 9 september, 2003
Complete smoking ban completely stupid
Tus JULY, the U of A Senate Task force released a report containing recommendations to make the U of A the healthiest campus in the country.
This report, entitled “Becoming the Healthiest University in Canada: Improving the Overall Wellness of the University of Alberta Community,” contained 22 suggestions, many of which probably would make the U of Aa healthier place, such as better change rooms for cyclists and more resources for recreational programs. However, making all 22 recommendations reasonable was clearly too much to ask of the Task Force.
Hearing that they wanted to eliminate unhealthy food from campus surprised me a little, as the University has no right to tell students what they can and can’t eat, and it didn’t seem fair to the businesses selling food arbitrarily deemed “unhealthy” either. But above all, it was the recommendation proposing a complete smoking ban on campus—not just indoors but outdoors as well—that made me really sad.
Now don’t get me wrong. I think smoking is a stupid habit to take up and a dirty one to continue, and I have no problem with smoking being banned in public buildings and bars. In fact, when I was in Vancouver last year, my smoker friends commented that they actually preferred the clean air of smoke-free bars, even if they had to go stand in the rain to have a Cigarette.
The point here is that a total smoking ban on campus will eliminate people’s freedom of choice. While I admit the proposed smoking ban will prob- ably inspire a few people to quit, I can’t help but wonder what right the University has to force us to be healthy if we don’t want to. Presumably most people who smoke or eat hamburgers for lunch every day know their habit isn’t good for them, but in knowing that they make a conscious choice to continue doing it.
This recommendation has no other aim than to protect us from ourselves, and that is a decision only the individual concerned has the right to make.
Besides, forcing smokers who can’t or don’t want to quit to go off campus just to have a quick cigarette in the dead of winter is not only pointless, it’s cruel. When it’s —30 C outside, are you really going to watch that poor sap walk five blocks with an unlit cigarette in his mouth and tears frozen on his face and think, “Good. Maybe now he'll learn his lesson for getting hopelessly addicted to nicotine in the first place?” Well, if so, I hope you become a gambling addict only days before the city outlaws casinos.
Outside is full of things like “wind” and “fresh air,” and the smokers standing outside the Business Atrium trying to smoke with mittens on are hurting no one except themselves, and possibly their mittens. And yes, catching a whiff of tobacco on your way indoors may be vaguely unpleasant, but it’s certainly not going to give you lung cancer.
If the Task Force really wants to make campus a healthier place, they should give students more choice instead of taking it away. If they stick to recommend- ing the University invest more money into things that students can choose to use, such as recreational programs or a gym actually befitting of a campus of 30 000, who knows, maybe they’ll successfully affect some change for once.
KRISTINE OWRAM News Editor
Sleeping with Antonio
"THIS WEEKEND I PARTOOK in the annual SU sleeping bag drive-in.
Despite the fact that I’m a jaded fifth-year student who only shows enthusiasm when it's mixed with copious amounts of venomous sarcasm, I enjoyed myself quite a bit. I think this was because I just allowed myself to enjoy the proceedings for what they were, a way for a group of students to share a movie together and feel like a community. It could also have been all the “second-hand” “cigarette” smoke I inhaled.
DANIEL KASZOR Production Editor
CANADIAN BEEF BAN LIFTED! SORT OF...
U of As supercomputer not that impressive
This is regarding the 4 September article “New supercomputer puts Uof Aon the grid.”
When you print numbers like “256 processors, 256 gigabytes of RAM and ten terabytes of disk space” it sure sounds impressive. It’s sure a lot more power than the average home computer user has at their disposal. But with a price tag of $3 million, one should question whether this is really a good deal. When people go com- puter shopping they try to get the best deal and the U of A should too.
Unfortunately, the U of A super- computer is not very cost effective. Recently, Virginia Tech in the US announced a plan to build a super- computer that will rank 5th fastest in the world for a total sum of US $5.2 million. It will be made up of 2200 processors, 4400 gigabytes of RAM and 176 terabytes of disk space.
Although the price tag is in US funds, the cost/performance ratio is still much greater than the U of A plan. It is often the case that super- computers built with off-the-shelf components can be much more powerful and cost effective than big metal supercomputers such as the SGI Origin 3900 the U of A pur- chased.
KEVIN BARABASH Mathematics V
U-Pass not as simple a plan as Delhon thinks
| would like to respond to Sabreena Delhon’s letter, “The SU should direct their enthusiasm at real problems” (4 September). | can at least agree with Ms Delhon that the Universal Bus Pass, or “U-Pass” (a proposal in which all students would purchase a discounted bus pass as part of their Students’ Union fees) is an excellent idea, provided that appropriate exemptions are in place for those students who don't live on a bus route or who cannot use most ETS buses for disability rea- sons. However, she seems to over- estimate the simplicity of actually implementing the concept.
U-Passes at most universities in Canada cost in the neighbourhood of one hundred dollars for eight months. The price that ETS has quoted to the Students’ Union for
one here is more than double that, and apparently most Students’
Union representatives (myself included) cannot countenance implementing a mandatory fee in exchange for such a small discount.
So, in response to Ms Delhon’s claim that the U-Pass process con- sists basically of somebody running for office on the promise to imple- ment a U-Pass, that person getting elected, and then that person for- getting about it, | must point out that the process actually runs thusly: somebody runs for office on the promise to implement a U-Pass, that person gets elected, that person checks with ETS to see if its changed its mind about the hugely expensive thing, that person finds that ETS has done nosuch thing, that person real- izes that there is not really anything that can be done, and then that person forgets about it, remember- ing it only to utter some vague platitude about “meeting with ETS” whenever anybody asks about it.
Andaslongaswe're onthe subject of complaining about the Students’ Union, | should alert all readers of the Gateway that they have a, or possibly several, Student Councilors who are elected to listen to their complaints about the SU. The list of these, along with their contact information, is available in the stu- dent handbook.
STEVE SMITH Business IV SU Business Councilor
Want a U-Pass? Come to council once in a while
Hey, remember a few years ago when all those shiny SU folk with their dazzling smiles came up with the idea of the U-Pass? Well, Ms Delhon (“The SU should direct their enthusiasm at real problems,” 4 September), you obviously thought it was such a good idea that to follow up on its progress would just be a waste of time. If you had everattendedacouncil meeting and bugged the chair-warmer who rep- resents you to ask what’s going on withit, you may have been delighted to hear that there are some real concerns with the U-Pass.
See, in the world the SU exists in, there’s more to think about than just what sounds good to you. ETS is an evilempire of trolls that wouldn't give usa decent deal unless we gave them the souls of helpless orphans, and as much as I'ma fan of demonic pacts, the conditions of the U-Pass need to
be chewed over and debated. But the real problem | have with your letter about how you hate WOW and love buses is that it oozes with the kind of uninformed whining that everybody has about the SU.
I'll let you in on a secret: the SU will actually let you come to meet- ings. | know the handshake to get in; I'll even teach it to you. Once inside you'll learn how they subtly manipulate all sorts of things around the university. This SU seems to have connections, nay, powers! Beer prices, add/drop deadlines, the new Cram Dunk—all this falls within its mighty grasp. | hear they even have a building on campus.
So if you really want your U-Pass, show up tonight at 6pm in 2-1 University Hall. See the sights! Hear Business Councilor Steve Smith recite every bylaw backwards! Come one, come all!
MATTHEW EATON Science Ill
Rozenhart, youre a jerk
lam writing to voice my extreme displeasure over the content of Adam Rozenhart’s 4 September arti- cle entitled “I can’t believe I'm actu- ally graduating”
In this article the “author” attacks the TLF: The Trekkers Liberation Front (known officially as SUBspace 620: The U of A Sci-Fi Club) proclaim- ing our group to be “lame,” and not “hep.” The author then encourages people to assault our members by hurling hiking boots at them as a show of “U of A pride.” As a student who is proud to attend the U of A and is also proud to be an executive member of the TLF | am absolutely irate and disgusted by this slander- ous unwarranted attack in the name of school pride.
This suggestion to assault the members of our student group merely because we share acommon interest in science fictionthat some- how offends Mr Rozenhart’s sense of “hep”ness was mean spirited, in bad taste and completely uncalled for. My anger wants me to insult and fight back with slander but | refuse to stoop to Mr Rozenhart’s level. | will not pander to the lowest common denominator as: is often the case with the articles featured in the opinion section of the Gateway each week. | realize that this article was an attempt at humour but it was a flimsily lame attempt at best and it was at our expense.
1am proud to say that | joined the
club four years ago when | first came to the U of A.| wanted to be involved on campus and | wanted a fun way to meet people at the U of A with- out resorting to the bar or drug scene that is prevalent at the U of A. The people | have met these past four years in the club are some of the most intelligent, well-spoken and loyal friends | have ever made. Yes, we doa share a common interest in Star Trek, Star Wars, and all things science fiction but we also have other inter- ests as well, including sports, politics, literature, and world issues. In fact, we openly advertise in our club pam- phlet that we realize that Star Trek is merely a television show and we enjoy it purely on the level of enter- tainment.
Unfortunately, it is this synthetic junior high notion of “cool” that per- vades at the U of A that | feel hin- ders U of A pride and Mr Rozenhart’s libelous commentary only fuels this charade of “hep” (to use his words). Most adults realize that once they leave high school the notion of being “cool” or “hep” is just an illusion and some arbitrary idea of fitting in with the cool crowd is worth its weight in manure.
Alas, some people do not realize this and feel that they must slander and suggest assaulting a group of people who share a common inter- est. | guess if | wanted to be cool | would go get “high” and “wasted” like so many of our fellow students do, but | choose not to follow the crowd. Mr Rozenhart’s attitude fos- ters disparity among students at the U of Aand promotes inequality and prejudice. In this era of funding cut- backs, highenrolment, hiring freezes and skyrocketing tuition we need to promote student solidarity and school pride more than ever if we want our voices to be heard by the Board of Governors.
CHADWICK MITCHELL Secretary/Treasurer SUBspace 620
Letters to the editor should be dropped off at room 3-04 of the Students’ Union Building, or e-mailed to managing @gateway.ualberta.ca.
The Gateway reserves the right to edit letters for length and clarity, and to refuse publication of any letter it deems racist, sexist, libelous, or other- wise hateful in nature.
Letters to the editor should be no longer than 350 words, and should include the name, student identifica- tion number, program, and year of study of the author, to be considered for publication.
6 OPINION
tuesday, 9 september, 2003
Gateway. Gateway gateway gateway gateway and gateway since 1910.
Hey all y'all. You know what THIS is? No, not the mutilated asshead on the left. The whole thing. That's right! It's a STAFF AD! We run them when we have some extra room, and usually we tell you to volunteer, or visit us, or how great we are, and other filler like that. Not this time. This time we just want you to look fong and hard at that semihuman-like infantoid over there and take it easy. What?
Do you need a good computer and still want to have money for other luxuries?
Like food...
ABC Special
Intel Pentium 4 2.4GHz CPU ASUS P4S533-MX AUD/LAN/VGA 256MB PC2700 DDR RAM
40GB 7200rpm ATA133 HDD 52x24x52 CD-RW Drive
10/100 Ethernet
17" tower case w/ 300W PS
Full CSA certification
starting at $699
Call Bruce <bruce@pi.ca> or
ROWER
THE GATEWAY Soe oe
Get an ABC computer with Intel® Pentium® 4 Processor from Power Industry
Mark <mark@pi.ca>
at 463.3838 NT RY or visit us at Established since 1978 3448-93 Street
COMPUTER WHOLESALERS Edmonton, AB T6E 6A4
http://www.pLeca
Intei, Pentium, Intel Inside, and the Intel Inside logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of Intet Corporation or its subsidiaries in the United States and other countries.
ett» @ Got Groove?
Then come play Dance Dance Revolution
¢ #
Reasonable Pool Prices $5/hr for 1-2 players $6.50/hr for 2-4 players
Hours of Operation 9:30am to 8:00pm
Lower Level SUB Www.su.ualberta.ca/cue
™~
Swearing aint so fuckin’ bad
So after finally earning a degree in psychology this past April—and after putting in hours upon hours of intern- ship work, reading hundreds of arti- cles, and creating papers that I can only describe as literary brilliance—I natu- rally found myself working in a metals plant over the summer. Stocking stuff. Big metal stuff. With sharp corners. And that caused me to wonder if tet- anus shots could be performed casu- ally at home while watching Paradise Hotel and eating Marshmallow Peeps.
But after a few weeks of smelling like ammonia and coughing up blood like a SARS patient, I became accustomed to one of the few benefits that come with a blue-collar, Flintstone-calibre, metal-lunchbox life: the swearing.
Yes, working in a place where the word “fuck” takes the place of pretty much all adverbs and occasionally the words “the” or “hi” really gives you license to cease mental censorship of any and all profanity that’s sporad- ically emitted in. daily conversation. Example:
“Professor, could you repeat that last part for me?”
“Certainly, Jeremy. I said the Coriolis effect. Did you get that, fuckface?”
Naturally, it didn’t take long for this
colourful language to work its way into my vocabulary as well, but it soon got to the point where I didn’t even realize I was doing it anymore. I would come home from work and proceed to talk to my family in this manner, ran- domly decorating my sentences with these lexicographical rejects we call curse words.
Nowalittle four-letterage is okay with the
parents, but if] start in on the blasphemy, sweet fuck do they get
upset.
Now a little 4-letterage is okay with the parents, but if I start in on the blasphemy, sweet fuck do they get upset. Apparently saying “fuck” is somehow more tolerable than using the word “God” inappropriately. But why should we focus on the negative representation of any use of profane language? We all swear. Admit it. It’s in us and can’t easily be completely purged from our systems, like alcohol, or Vanilla Ice lyrics.
Certain words are offensive only because we have deemed them to be offensive—words that upon their utterance make some of us cringe, and if we are the culprits of this verbal refuse, stir up a little nugget of guilt in the pit of our stomachs. Like Vanilla Ice lyrics.
Cursing happens as a response to emotions, or can be used creatively and for strategic purposes such as joke expression. But I often find that we swear just because we're too lazy to find the appropriate words to fit the situation. I mean, if I've smashed my hand in the space between the armrest and those little desks in V-Wing I find it a lot easier to let fly with a nice fat “motherfucker!” than to calmly discuss the merits of my visuo- spatial ability in conjunction with my depth perception and eagerness to learn physics.
It's certainly amazing how much pro- fanity focuses on sexual anxiety or reli- gion. Apparently these areas and their related terminology are still taboos that culturally we feel deserves classifica- tion as the lowest form of commu- nication. Maybe we need to grow up a little and become more comfortable speaking on these issues before swear- ing is deemed tolerable. But I doubt that would happen anytime soon. People like to swear for shock value, to get laughs, or, as in the metal plant I worked in the summer, to bond.
So I say it’s okay if one or two of those babies pops out when youre describing how much you hate how people walk the wrong way in HUB mall, or how much you love walking the wrong way in HUB mall, or how people should just shut the hell up about HUB mall, but don’t make a swear every third word that comes out. Being like Seann William Scott is funny, but only in small doses. Just like Vanilla Ice lyrics.
Orientation isnt helpful for new students
MARK BARKER
“skipping Orientation was the smart- est thing you've ever done.” These were the words uttered by my brother immediately following his first day of Orientation this year, also adding, “I think the University owes me twelve hours of my existence for that.”
I didn’t really have the heart to tell him that I didn’t need to attend Orientation as I was a student return- ing for an after degree, nor that, even if was required to attend Orientation, I wouldn't know on account of the fact that the administration has appar- ently forgotten that I exist. But it didn’t matter, because even if I did get a letter from some University of Alberta organizational body encouraging me to come to Orientation and remind- ing me that it was mandatory, I would promptly orientate said letter directly into the garbage.
What I've come to learn through my university career is that this “compul- sory” program is the most ironic exam- ple of overkill you'll ever experience. First, as important as it is to be familiar with your environment and the agen- cies that govern it, Orientation tries to make university feel very much like a fairy tale some guy in the SU market- ing department created ten years ago to make students think that this institu- tion actually cares about you.
News flash: unless you are far supe- rior or far inferior to every other person on this campus, you may as well be just another leaf on one of the trees in Quad. Second, Orientation assumes you are apparently too stupid
to figure out those three-metre tall campus maps located at every twenty steps around campus.
Orientation tries to make university feel very much like a fairy tale some guy in the
SU marketing department created ten years ago to make students think that this institution actually
cares about you.
I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I attended my voluntary campus orientation six years ago. Sure, the little wool knot things we made during the arts and crafts component were pretty fun. But, other than that, I can’t say that it benefited me at all. I didn’t learn where any of my classes were, I didn’t really understand what the SU was all about, and I didn’t feel I (as a lowly
This vicious beating goes to the idiots wearing the CCCP hammer-and- sickle T-shirts recently, using old Soviet propaganda as a fashion statement. And while this beating may not be nearly as vicious as the old-school style starvation dished out in the gulags, but it will have to do.
| doubt that these fashinistas under- stand the struggle of the working classes and, even if they do, their knowledge of history is no doubt quite scant. What exactly did you like about
first-year) could just up and enter the Powerplant because I wanted some- thing to eat.
I did find out where my classes were; I did find out all about the student distress centre, exam regis- tries, and other student services; and I have hugged many a toilet bowl thanks to the Powerplant since, but I contend I would have whether I attended Orientation or not.
Frankly, the promise that you'll meet and make a ton of new friends, have adventures that will be the substance of anecdotes for years to come, and learn things about the University that are not available in any other concise format are all a heaping load.
Besides, my brother and I ran into a first-year who lost her group for the fifth time, another first year that slept through her alarm and decided to buy her textbooks instead, and an orien- tation leader who had lost his group for the fifth time. And in the end, my brother hasn't professed the joy of meeting a ton of new friends and I still needed to remind him that labs don’t start until next week so he could have slept in this morning.
the Russians? Did you enjoy Stalin's twenty million dead Ukrainians? Do you advocate the KGB showing up on your doorstep at 3am? How about having to smuggle out works to be published in other places?
The Cold War is over, and not only are vou advertising cold-blooded vio- lence, but you're advocating a variety that has not been in vogue for a decade.
ANTHONY EASTON
The Burlap Sack is a semi-regular fea- ture where a person or group who needs to be put ina sack and beaten is ridiculed in print. No sack beatings are actually administered.
THE GATEWAY + volume XCIN oumber 3
OPINION
Were all
TYSON DURST
So I was in the bathtub the other day having a delightful conversation with my rubber ducky, Roger, and we both agreed that things seemed to be going a little batshit crazy lately.
Let’s see now: there was that mas- sive power outage out east. There's the apocalyptic hellfire engulfing BC forests right next to Kelowna. There's violence raging in the Middle East, which is as reliable as clockwork, and SARS, West Nile, and mad cows have taken their respective tolls along with the grasshopper infestation ravaging the prairies.
Furthermore, North Korea is con- templating whether to declare itself a nuclear nation, the death toll for US soldiers in post-war Iraq has exceeded the total during combat, and of course, Skynet has taken control of US defense computers and is poised to unleash nuclear fire across the world while an army of Terminators rises up to finish us off. Sweet mother of pearl.
Meanwhile,, one of Skynet’s Terminators is trying to infiltrate our society from the inside. Arnold Schwarzenegger is leading in a race for governorship of California that also includes Gary Coleman, Larry Flynt and a sexy porn star. Well, it’s about time that integrity finally made its
way back into politics along with the ninety or so other governorship can- didates.
Oh, and as long as we're talking about possible signs of the end of the world as we know it, let’s not forget to mention George W Bush. This is the guy who, when asked about post- war violence in Iraq and attacks on American soldiers replied, “Bring em’ on!” I think some of the families of the soldiers might not have been as gung ho as Dubya, who seems to be screwing up left, right and centre. Iraq has turned into a bloody mess with- out any evidence of weapons of mass destruction, so now the US is sud- denly superfriends with the UN again, asking for assistance in their craptac- ular pet project that the UN never approved in the first place.
Skynet has taken control of US defense computers and is poised to unleash nuclear fire across the world while an army of Terminators rises up to finish us off. Sweet mother of pearl.
But to be honest, things probably aren’t that bad; I’ve been told that mass media likes to distort the truth and misrepresent facts. I know, I know, I was shocked too. But I have a solution: to balance it out there should be more
going to die
stories about puppies, rainbows, and babies. I mean, who doesn’t love these things? Throw in some baby monkeys and you've got a winning formula.
But there are two main reasons that I think things tend to seem so dismal. One is mass communication and the unprecedented rate at which informa- tion bombards us. There’s a glut of information and in the race to be first to report, accuracy is sometimes laid by the wayside. Second, the world seems to be progressing towards a more complex existence with a rising global population and thus there’s an increasing number of issues and prob- lems to contend with. 50 years ago, we were predicting that we’d have loads of leisure time while robots did the grunt work. Instead, we're busier than ever, and that adds to the global sense of doom and futility.
Truthfully, I don’t think the world is ending anytime soon, even though the media might try their hardest to convince us otherwise. I do think that serious changes will occur because they have to. There are billions of people out there who want to make a phone call or have a clean glass of water. They'd love to have power out- ages, because then that would mean that they have power.
So what does this all mean? I'm honestly not quite sure. I’m sure all the pieces fit together somewhere in a cosmic puzzle. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself. Hopefully your classes are going swell. Here, take a puppy.
Legal disclaimer: puppy is not real and Tyson Durst is not obligated to give away any puppies. Thank you.
The Segway marks the beginning of a dark chapter in human history
ADAM ROZENHART
I once climbed a mountain.
Okay, that’s a lie. The verb “to climb” implies a certain amount of speed and strength, neither of which I possess. More specifically, I trudged up a series of switchbacks and complained almost the whole time. However, upon reach- ing the top of the climb, I was treated to one of the most outstanding vistas I've ever experienced.
What made the entire experience that much more significant was that I made it up the peak all under my own power. Years of watching TV, despite what I'd been told, did nothing to stifle my ascent, although it likely con- tributed to the unreasonable amount of complaining on my part.
However, as of 28 August the face of hiking, exercise, and humanity was forever changed. For the first time in recorded history, a Segway human transporter made it to the top of Mount Washington. And all it took was six sets of batteries and three drivers.
Are we so bored with everything on this planet that we have to entertain ourselves by using a scooter to climb a mountain with an average grade of 12 per cent?
Imagine for a moment a future where everyone in the world has one of these Segways. The streets would be like a constant retarded ballet of fat people gliding around with shit-eating
grins on their faces. This generation of assholes would tool around oblivious to a life where climbing three stairs wouldn't cause them to throw up their spleens. The only advantage to this lifestyle would be that what humanity would lack in healthy slimness it would more than make up for with outstand- ing posture and balance, two things required of any seasoned Segway pilot. And bottom-feeding injury lawyers would have an entirely new cross- section of society to exploit.
This is precisely the same thing that happened to the seldom-mentioned Borg society. They created useless technology and integrated it into their physiology. Then they attacked the Federation at Wolf 359.
But the disadvantages of an entirely Segway-based future far outweigh the advantages. Lynch mobs would cease to exist, as pitchfork-wielding denizens would spin around embar- rassingly in a vain attempt to stab their victims; the Running Room’s business plan to market an even wider range of running shoes would be rendered useless; and dog-walkers all across the globe would effectively be out of work, as hyper-intelligent canines learned the ins and outs of Segway-
based transportation—the very same canines Nostradamus predicted would eventually rule over us.
This is precisely the same thing that happened to the seldom- mentioned Borg society. They created useless technology and integrated it into their physiology. Then they attacked the Federation at Wolf 359. Thankfully, we had the crew of the Enterprise to save us from their Segway-loving clutches.
But forget about a future overrun with monotonous robot-men whose pronoun selection boggles even the most linguistical of linguists. The issue most pressing is that the decadence of our western lifestyle means that we've created devices, at cost of about US $5000 per unit, that will replace the most basic mode of organic locomo- tion: our legs.
This isn’t even a device created to improve the mobility of physically handicapped individuals. There already exists an invention to help them; it’s called a wheelchair. No, this is for the very lazy folks out there who have nothing better to spend their money on. Far be it for them to donate $5000 of those idle dollars to some- thing like cancer research. No, I'll take the wicked-dumb, battery-power crap machine manufactured in Lametown, Nebraska, thanks very much.
What, aside from taking poke after poke at the Segway, is the point of this article? It’s not to say that people are lazy, no. And it isn’t to say that I think it’s horrible that Canadian children, and children all over the world, are getting fatter. The point is very simple: Segways are a complete waste of money.
And I really, really want one.
Adobe® Acrobat® 6.0 Professional software allows business, creative, and engineering professionals who work with graphically complex documents to reliably and efficiently exchange business-critical documents and to create electronic forms.
Tools for the New Work: Adobe
MiseStore
Available at the U of A Microstore Basement, Students’ Union Building
S
gateway student journalism society
PRESENTS
GSJS Annual General Meeting Friday, 26 September, 2003 at 3pm Third floor, Students’ Union Building
Tentative Business: © Approval of 2002-2003 GSJS Audit (Ellis, Govenlock LLP)
¢ Bylaw alterations: - Removal of Circulation Manager as Line Editor Editorial Board member and alteration of Circulation Manager hiring procedures (Sec 2.7, 2.14, 6.3) - Alteration of Staff definition such that the summer semester is skipped when counting contributions (Sec 2.8) - Officer appointments will be made at first meeting after Board terms begin on May 1 and will expire when new appointments have been made or when the standing Board revokes an appointment (Sec 4.6)
© Selection of new volunteer representative for the Board of Directors
For more information, please contact the Chair of the Board of Directors at chair@gateway.ualberta.ca or visit
http://www.gateway.ualberta.ca/gsjs/
SUB Title<
Buy, Sell or Consign Texts « UofA Clothing * Framing Custom Screen Printing & Embroidery * Buy or Consign CDs or CD-ROM
We'll satisfy your needs.
Clothes, books, frames... whatever, we've got it all. Come check us out.
Used textbooks and much more...
Main floor SUB * 492-9744 : www.su.ualberta.ca
8 — OPINION
tuesday, 9 september, 2008
Fall Term 2003
Registration Deadline
The deadline to add or delete courses using Bear Tracks web registration is
Midnight, September 16, 2003
Make sure you know...
your Bear Tracks LOGON ID and PASSWORD—you need them to access web registration.
Your ID and password are particularly important when registration deadlines approach, as no special consideration will be given if a student cannot add or delete a class by the deadline because they have forgotten their password.
eee
lf Department consent/permission is required to add a class that is
closed to web registration, you must submit your request to the
Department well in advance of the deadline. Campus offices are not
open after regular office hours.
pet
You now have 10 days from the start of classes to make changes to your Fall Term registration—5 days more than in past years. For this reason, NO APPEALS for registration changes after the deadline
will be considered.
AN
44 BEAR TRACKS
Monday
First Monday of every month is FRAT NIGHT
Tuesday
CJSR New Wax Night
Wednesday
Oilers Hockey. Big Screen. ENuff Said.
Thursday Dead By Dawn: Old Alt & New Country Tunes w/ DJ Red Dawn
Friday Rock n Roll Champions: Punk, Metal & More © w/Tall Drink of Water & Handsome Devil
Saturday
Delicious Melodies: Urban Pop Rock & Classics
w/DJ Penny Ww ratt
room at the top
Helping Students Fight for the Right
https://www.beartracks.ualberta.ca
Note: It’s your responsibility to’safeguard your ID and password.
Only children can never
catch a break
ASIA SZKUDLAREK
I've never had to think twice about being an only child; as a wee kid in overalls I was well taken care of by my parents, cheek-pinching extended family, and possibly some wolves. But as I get older, I'm beginning to compare my quality of life to those who do have brothers and sisters.
Don't get me wrong; I fully realize the free- dom of being an only child. Not only have I been exempted from the unholy burden of never- ending brat-sitting, but I've also become accus- tomed to dancing around to The Pixies while singing into my hairbrush when the parents aren't home, which, luckily, is unreasonably often.
With the help of numerous parenting web- sites, I’ve also discovered that as an only child I’m probably smarter, more motivated, and sexier than those of you with siblings. As well, I’m guaranteed to suffer “no serious interpersonal deficits,” and although society generally thinks of me as temperamental, I’m the least prone of all of you to stab myself during final exams.
Sounds good doesn’t it? Like most stories, however, this one has two sides, and despite the beliefs of most people, the drawbacks of being the sole kid of the household stretch far beyond not having a hot brother/sister to “accidentally” see naked.
Only children never get a damn break. From the early-most stages of our social development to sometime in our mid-twenties, parents have inhibitions about letting us out without record- ing the social insurance numbers of our friends and personally turning up the volume on our cell phones. Add to that their realistic concepts
of potential risk (“Don’t stay out late or someone will-stab you”), and you've got yourself a neat combination that prevents you from being able to borrow the car on any given Saturday night. The concept of “responsibility,” doubly- stressed on only children, warrants that authoritative attention is never drawn away from us. As a result, we often get indirectly blamed for the mistakes of our absent-minded parents, like that time when one of your parents screws up and puts aluminum-foil-wrapped cheese in the microwave as a means of “warming it up.”
From the early-most stages of our social development
to sometime in our mid-twenties, parents have inhibitions about letting us out without recording the social insurance numbers of our friends and
personally turning up the
volume on our cell phones.
You'd think you’d get some appreciation for noticing the sparks and preventing domestic apocalypse, but instead the parents tell you not to get smart and make sure to distract you from their hypocrisy by pointing out one of your minor blunders (“What’s that you left on the table? A microscopic breadcrumb that I can’t even see? Clean it or die!”’).
When you get to the stage when you want to settle down and have a kid, at least do the child a favour by “adopting” an unsuspecting foreign boy to distract you from wanting to know every
detail of their lives or to take the blame for |
their stupidity.
What is AP!RG ?
The Alberta Public Interest Research Group (AP!IRG), is a student funded & student directed community-minded organization dedicated to education, action & research in the public interest.
It provides space & resources for student Working Groups.
AP!RG resources include:
funds for research & activities
a lending library
organizational skills training educational events & speaker presentations administrative/staff support
Current Working Group topics:
" GMOs & organic foods * climate change
« fair trade
" gender issues
* globalization & inequity » media & democracy
* war & racism
* workers’ rights
To Relax and Have Fun For A Really Long Time
7th Floor SUB
A Service for Students, Staff, Alumni and Guests
www.ualberta.ca/~apirg Alberta Public Interest Research Group
entertainment @gateway.ualherta.ca + tuesday, 9 september, 2003
Shocore bring their trailer park freakshow to town
Shocore
with Danko Jones and Big Sugar Cook County Saloon Wednesday, 10September
HEATHER ADLER Arts & Entertainment Editor
Some bands like to sing about feelings, some like to preach about worldly issues. But for others music has always been about three simple things: sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll.
“The craziest thing that’s ever happened during one of our shows was at a party for some bikers, and about two-thirds of the way through the set, two ladies of the bleached- blond big-boobed variety got on stage. They proceeded to strip their gear and have a live sex show will full penetration, right there in front of us,” laughs “Sho” Murray, lead singer of Vancouver's hyperactive hard-rock outfit Shocore. :
After making a few crude humping sounds for emphasis, Murray goes on to explain that for him, putting on a spectacle complete with exhibitionism is all just a part of showing people a good time.
“Tm not preaching political beliefs on people or trying to be socially conscious,” he declares. “Let’s not all save the world—I want to have a good time. You have a hard enough time in the day-to-day life, and people need to have a release.” It’s that simple bad-boy attitude that has earned Shocore a strong following among biker gangs and strippers, among others.
The band’s on stage spectacle rivals that of any trailer park freakshow—aside from the occa- sional sex show, they're also known for their ever-
present go-go dancer troupe. For their upcoming tour the band will have seven-foot-tall skull bob- bleheads crafted in the likeness of both Murray and his partner in crime, “Core” White, which Murray describes as being akin to “old-school monsters from ’70s rock.” The backdrop should meld well with their crunchy, guitar-driven beats and edgy hard-rock hooks.
But on top of all this is Shocore’s innate ability to bring the inner delinquents in their audience members. “If you throw people on stage and tell them to do something they will do it,” Murray states. “It's amazing what people will do in front of their peers; it’s like when you stick a camera in front of somebody and they always want to stick their tongue out or be goofy.”
Unfortunately, every great party has its crash- ers, and Murray says he isn’t sure the band will even be allowed to pull out their bag of tricks at all their shows. “Because we're the opening act we can't really pull out all the bells and whistles; nobody likes to be upstaged by their openers.” He does, however, promise that the band will be keeping tricks up their sleeves. “In the worst case scenario, we can always rely on the audience. So, if you want to get naked on stage, then alright, come on!”
Murrays says he doesn’t worry about what other people might think of his outlandish stage show. “I'm not making people take their clothes off, and I'm not taking advantage of anyone; it’s just people doing what they want to do and having a release,” he notes.
If youre in need ofa little party-induced release then check the band out Wednesday night at Cook County Saloon. Just make sure youre pre- pared to strip on stage should the Shocore boys call you up.
WE LIKE FUN Would you trust these boys with your daughter?
SOCAL RECOURSE
with The Tea Party, Wide Mouth Mason, American Hi-fi, Not By Choice and guests Nait
Saturday, 6 September
This Saturday, our brothers in higher education held their version of Week of Welcome. Although several of the bands performing were the same as those jamming at the U of A festivities, the Nait event also featured on-site beer gardens and a mechani- cal bull. If all of the events the U of Astretched out in a week were condensed into one day, it would look alot like Ookfest and thus might actually have been worth attending The opening bands had the barely- legal crowd roaring, and by the second song in the Tea Party's set a ravaging moshpit had whipped the concert-goers into a frenzy. It was good times.
Warren Zevon Dies Monday, 8 September
Just two weeks after the release of his final album, The Wind, Waren Zevon, 56, passed away of lung cancer. The album, which is somewhat of a musical farewell, includes eloquent tributes to the loves of his life and serves as a goodbye to the world he knew he would soon be leaving behind. His trade- mark humor even works its way into the light with acover of Bob Dylan's “Knocking on Heaven's Door.” Zevon leaves behind a catalogue of literary-influ- enced rock classics. Even if you've never heard of him either, you should still be sad.
HEATHER ADLER Arts & Entertainment Editor
You were a good man, Charlie Bronson
Along
with his enviable abs, Charles Bronson had some pretty dynamite films. He died of natural
causes last week, and even if you've never heard of him, you should still be sad
HOUSTON
ARE Commentary
Forget Arnold Schwarzenegger; when I'm in my mid-fifties, I want to have a body like Charles Bronson did. Yes, below the face he once described as looking “like a quarry that some- body dynamited,” accessorized with that sad little pubic hair mustache and the ill-considered moptop, the late Mr Bronson had one seriously ripped bod.
Such Greek-God-esque abdominals are strangely fitting for a man who, along with Clint Eastwood, defined the “Lone Man, Big Gun” film genre and its accompanying homoerotic subtext throughout the 1970s. For those who didn’t know, Bronson died of pnemonia last Saturday, 30 August, and this my friends, is my eulogy for someone whose enviable mid-life physique wasn't even the most remarkable his achieve- ments.
Who else can count himself a member of both The Dirty Dozen and The Magnificent Seven, while also helping carry out The Great Escape? And what about his solid catalogue of westerns, culminating in Sergio Leone’s masterpiece Once Upon A Time In The West? But despite this, unfortunately, his most impressive feat was the unparalleled dive he achieved in the quality of his filmography.
His body of the work remained strong through the sixties and seventies, but between his pairing with Lee Marvin in 1981’s Death Hunt and his appearance in Sean Penn's The Indian Runner in 1991, Bronson did not make a single worthwhile film. Sadly, by the time of his death, Bronson had
become synonymous with the sort of low-bud- get vigilante tales he made during this period, a tragedy furthered by the fact that the first of these films—the one which finally put the already fifty-something Bronson’s name in lights in North America at the high cost of eternal type- casting—remains an excellent one. That film was Death Wish (1974). And it’s quite simply one of the best exploitation films ever made.
the “Lone Man, Big Gun” film genre and its accompanying homoerotic subtext throughout the 1970s.
The pedestrian direction and poor produc- tion values actually heighten the gritty atmo- sphere in the tale of a gentle man pushed too far; it’s portrait of a mind crumbling amidst urban decay was only bettered in its time by
Scorsese's Taxi Driver. And watching it, it’s obvi-’
ous that none of the myriad sequels and knock- offs got the point. In Death Wish, Bronson never gets even.
There’s no careful plotting of cold-blooded revenge. In fact, the punks who murdered his wife and raped his daughter (including a heebie-jeebies-inducing Jeff Goldblum, in his film debut) never get their comeuppance; instead we follow Bronson as he slowly loses his grip on reality (unsurprisingly, one of the
- few films to get it right, Abel Ferrara’s excel-
lent Ms. 45, is also one of the few imitators worth watching).
SEXY In an old-timey movie star kind of way.
There are many eulogies more befitting this great action star than the midnite movie fare on TBS. I'd suggest checking out his work alongside James Coburn in down ‘n dirty “30s streetfight- ing epic Hard Times (1975). It’s the best film on director Walter Hill’s impressive resume, and a completely unique look at the pugilistic life. And when Bronson strips down to his jeans for that final bout, just tell me if you've ever seen anyone look that good at 54.
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
10
tiesday, 9 september, 2003
Wireless Networking
Hawking Technologies - the complete source for Wireless and Wired Networking, Mobile Storage, Multimedia, and Communication Hardware.
Cable/ OSL
Mobil os Routers /Modems
-—
Mie rore
Available at the U of A Microstore Basement, Students’ Union Building _
Digital! Cameras
ARE YOU WORRYING TOO MUCH?
Call 407-3331
University of Alberta The Psychopharmacology Research Unit 9:00-4:30 Monday to Friday and please leave a message.
Modest Mouse: scab-and-acne
milkshake, anyone?
many other topics that seem to grate his nerves, Brock finds being ques- tioned about song meanings irritat- ing. “The lyrics make sense to me,”
Modest Mouse with guests
Red's
Tuesday, 9 September
ASIA SZKUDLAREK Arts & Entertainment Writer
“Let me ask you a question; if you had to sit in a bathtub full of used syringes and acne puss, or drink a scab-and- acne milkshake, which would you choose?” asks Isaac Brock, front man for one of today’s most notorious indie rock bands, Modest Mouse. Brock is renowned for his heavily-opinionated attitude towards music, but quickly slips into topics like eating acne when he gets bored with answering serious questions, which makes him a bit of a challenge to interview.
It's Saturday night and Brock’s sit- ting in a Saskatchewan bar burning time before the band’s next show. “Tt ll be the smallest place we've played in probably six years or more,” he says of Amigo’s in Saskatoon. Brock explains that Modest Mouse formed in ’92 when he began recording in a shed built next to his parents’ house in Issaquah, a Seattle suburb. Since then, he’s moved up to Calvin Johnson's Dub Narcotic Studios where his band
has produced numerous EPs and LPs, including the recently popularized The Moon and Antarctica.
Most of those recordings sound unmistakably similar to The Pixies, but it’s better not to ask Brock if he’s affected by the comparison. Questions like the preceding one are why Brock once stopped doing interviews entirely, as he’s not fond of being compared, or of the music-recycling trend. “I can say that indie music has gone in a direction where people are no longer borrowing and turning things around; they're treating music like a vintage clothing store, trying on what- ever style it is that’s going on right now,” he remarks.
Brock seems a little less opinion- ated on the matter of commercial- ization, however. Nissan's latest TV ad features a loop of “Gravity Rides Everything,” the second track from the band’s latest major release, The Moon and Antarctica. Although, some fans may think that lending their song to a corporation means Modest Mouse has “sold out,” Brock describes it as way to pay rent. “I just wish it was less ‘soccer mom’ and more artful,” he quips.
Being a more artful band also means that most of the Modest Mouse’s lyrics are hard to decode, but just like so
he says. “But you get out of it what you get out of it.” In fact, Brock says there are times when he believes it’s better for people to come to their own conclusions about what a song means. “There's this song by Bedhead that I thought was really beautiful and then I found out it was about a bedside table, so I was better off not knowing.”
Modest Mouse spent the past summer working on a new record, the release date of which, Brock confirms, should be February of next year. “We're done recording but there's still some mixing to do; Wayne Coyne and Dave Fridmann from the Flaming Lips are going to come in and do that,” he reveals.
With the combination of their past projects and the upcoming album—which Brock describes as being one-third “trying to stay posi- tive,” and two-thirds being “hard to explain’”— it’s apparent that the band is hoping to encounter another wave of hipster success. For Brock, that's one more thing he can add to his resumé, not that he’s really keeping track. “When we started this, I didn’t expect anything,” he concludes.
ESES
bce Group
2003/2004
Classes start September 9
MODERN JAZZ
DOWD CONDITIONING
Register*today throf§h Campus Recreation =—™ p. 492-0770 _ e. tamara.bliss@ualberta.ca
www. per.ualberta.ca /orchesis
lsaac Brock’s craziest tour experience “Some guy made me sign his dick once; | just about ripped it off. was drunk and kind of pissed that he would ask, so I'm was like, ‘okay, fucking fine, here you go’. . yank!” Isaac Brock on superpowers
“If someone said you can have a superpower, but you had to put a piece of dog shit in your mouth, would you do it?... Did | mention that the superpower is super tastebuds?” Isaac Brock’s thoughts on the music biz “Huge fucking lack of imagination. Most top-4o rock is the worst fucking shit I've heard in my whole life.”
Isaac Brock’s biggest secret
When Brock is asked if there’s anything
MODEST
NICOLAS CAGE SAM ROCKWELL AUSON LOHMAN
Re
,} MATCHSTICK
You anda guest
jit ]
really interesting about the band that no one knows about, Isaac says that he just can't answer that one. “I'm an organ in a body and | don’t really have an opinion about the liver, wait...1 think my analogy’s falling short.”
tsaac Brock on crazy fan shit
“There's actually been some really nuts shi- t...People tracked down my address at one point. |'ve gotten a lot of haircuts [from fans], but once you get a haircut from someone they're a friend, not a fan”
Isaac Brock’s pre-show rituals
“We don't really have any rituals. We drink, {but] we won't hold hands around a table and fucking get primped you know?”
FREE STUFF
WARNER BROTHERS AND THE GATEWAY WANT TO SEND YOU TO THE MOVIES.
are invited to ap W ednesday, 10 geese 7pm i n Sil
THE GATEWAY
Scamming your friends since 1910
7
THE GATEWAY « volume XCM number 3
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
11
Reluctant prom queens
The girls of Lillix may be more glittery than a bucket of lip gloss, but they insist theyre just an “edgy” rock band out to prove their worth
Lillix
with Not By Choice, Retrograde, and Cassidy
The Powerplant
Wednesday, 10 September
HEATHER ADLER Arts & Entertainment Editor
At first glance, the girls in Lillix seem like the prom queens of the pop-rock ball: their debut album is remarkably polished, they recently completed the Teen People “Rock Shop Tour” (a rigourous agenda of playing in malls during fashion shows), and they're more primped and preened than a purebred, fifth-generation world- champion poodle. But according to 18-year-old lead guitarist Tasha-Ray Evins, the band isn’t full of bubble- gum teen princesses—they re just mis- understood.
“People think we're manufactured and we definitely aren't,” Evins declares in her sugar-sweet voice between gig- gles. “It’s too bad that we have to defend ourselves so much, but when people see us play it will change their mind.”
Still, the average music lover’s knee- jerk reaction to this band and their squeaky-clean licks—which, while spunky, but sound about as edgy as an episode of Dawson's Creek—would be to assume that they're the children of some high-budget production team. It doesn't help the girls’ cause that their lead single, “It's About Time,” got a helping hand from The Matrix, the writing team that helped create several Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears songs. Evins insists, however, Lillix has little in common with Lavigne. “The differ- ence is we've been a band for six and a half years and we started in our basement,” she explains. “We write every single song and we started the band
when Avril started listening to music.”
If you do the math, that means Evins was a mere eleven years old when she started playing the guitar and enlist- ing the help of neighbours and school friends to jam. And, she notes, being taken seriously as a musician has been difficult right from her prepubescent
TASHA-RAY EVINS
beginnings. “We were embarrassed because nobody believed in us at first so we kept the band a secret,” she says. “When people don’t believe in you it makes you not want to tell anyone what you are doing—you've just got to show them.”
TECHKNOWLEDGY Exclusive
Kensington
YOU NEED on-the-go solutions!
Limited-quantity offer
Zin
Input Bundle
“It’s really fun to see young females getting inspired by what we do because if there was more of them then we wouldn't have such a hard time,” Evins adds.
Regardless of all of the challenges, Evins seems more than pleased to have spent her younger years playing with Fenders rather than Barbies. Even though she may not be old enough to legally be in half of the clubs her band is playing, she says the experi- ences she’s gained have been more edu- cational than the high school she left behind. “My view on life is so differ- ent from average teenagers. I've grown up a lot since we never really hung out with people our own age; my experi- ences and views are a lot different.”
The band started taking off before most of the girls even graduated, but leaving behind the melodrama of kids their own age wasn’t much of a problem. “We never actually had any friends,” she laughs. “I don’t under- stand the whole popularity thing—it doesn’t matter. I don’t believe in the way people act in high school. The things people do are just a waste of time; life is so short and you need to experience as much as you can so you can't be sheltered or small minded about what makes something ‘cool.””
Running on the momentum of their single, Evins says she’s excited to be touring, and adds that the band is get- ting ready to release another song to radio. The songs to follow up “It’s About Time” are sure to have gen- erous doses of polished pop and the videos are sure to feature cute clothes, but Evins insists image isn’t what the band is after. “We don’t really care about our image; it’s just something that happens because marketing is so important in this industry. We ~
aren't really all about that. We just want to get up there and
play.”
Simply Portable One Bag with exclusive “drop shield” protection
PocketMouse Pro with retractable cord Cord stores away when not in use!
ONLY available at your campus computer store.
Slim MicroSaver Lock it and leave it . . . safe!
MicroStore
Available at the U of A Microstore, Basement, Students’ Union Building
492-8677 foodbonk@su.ualbertace www-su.valberte.co/feodbank
study globally pay locally
INTERNATIONAL
{2 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
More than you’d imagine for less than you’d expect.
The EPSON Stylus® CX3200 is a high-value all-in-one that delivers remarkable results and incredible flexibility. This performer offers PC-free color copying, 600 x 1200 dpi scanning, and high-quality colour printing.
To learn more, call 1-800-GO-EPSON or visit Epson.com
Mae score
Available in the U of A Microstore Basement, Students’ Union Building
RadioBerlin
withA Northem Chorus and The Floor Seedy’s
Saturday, 6 September
JOSHUA KUPSCH Arts & Entertainment Writer
With punk rock growing weary and grunge only existing in the faintest of memories, the opportunity for a music genre revolution is on the horizon. As industrial music begins to surface from the underground, and new wave synth-pop artists gain popularity, Radio Berlin—who borrow heavily from both these genres while adding their own unique ele- ments—seem fit to play a key role in the transition to a new era, and their solidly innovative show this Saturday at Seedy’s proved the band is poised to change the scene if only people would take notice of them.
The initial sound that Radio Berlin projects is similar to British post-punk of the late *70s, but they have added a heavy rhythmic emphasis. The band makes a large use of synthesized bass lines, which are sometimes used in con- junction with the traditional electric bass. Their set involved a fair amount of instrument switching, with newly added keyboard player Lyndsay Sung and guitarist Chris Frey both also playing electric bass. The group also proved to have as much versatility in vocals as they did in instrumentation; the croonings of Duckworth and Frey ranged from common indie pop styles to goth with the former sharing similar vocal mannerisms to fellow west coast Canadian Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat.
The quick tempo of drummer Brad MacKinnon pro- vided a stable percussion base for the band, especially when they combined his live sounds with those of a drum machine. If there was one thing to be learned from this show, it’s that there is no such thing as too much percus- sion. Radio Berlin proved themselves masters of syncopa- tion with many rhythmic breaks in unison, with only a few noticeable timing blunders that were likely the product of the band having recently adjusted their lineup.
Aside from the occasional feedback problem, headliners A Northern Chorus provided a flawlessly tranquil show. The Hamilton group—who sounded heavily influenced by dream-chamber music pioneers such as Galaxie 500 and Slowdive—drew the audience into their own atmosphere. Most of the song introductions were done with finger-
Are you ready for the new radio?
MATT FREHNER FASTER THAN LIGHT Guitarist of The Floor plays real fast. picked guitar, which provided an incredibly deep sound from their hollow-body archtop guitar that was further thickened by delay effects. A Northern Chorus layered sus- tained notes in harmony by means of vocals, cello, bass, flute and bowed electric guitar. The colourful drumming and massive range in dynamics resulted in a journey of the psychedelic, melancholic and lethargic.
The styles of the groups greatly contrasted, yet comple- mented each other well; A Northern Chorus played an excel- lent role by having showgoers relax and enjoy the soundscapes after a powerful and energetic set from Radio Berlin. Radio Berlin attempted to coerce the audience into becoming more active, but little partying took place among the slightly uptight Edmonton crowd.
Even after having been together in some capacity for five years, the band may still be ahead of their time. But with their undeniable creative music the band just might get the chance to make it big if they can stick it out while indus- trial licks and synth-pop sensibilities work their way into the mainstream.
S24 For current University or College students. ee Activate or renew onto a 1 or 2 year term. S23 Enjoy unlimited local calling with your classmates!
Receive a FREE Tommy Hilfiger backpack!‘ $75 value!
sp4se* No Term - $279.96
O ROGERS Sar | DIGITAL EE
AUTHORIZES DEALER
"SPECIAL DEALS FOR — EMPLOYEES!!
See ae ky oh a eR eM Gt mph + Free backpack with 24-month service service agreement for the Nokia 3300 or the Nokia 3595. Free faceplate is available only for the Nokia 3595. Both backpack and faceplate offers are while fees, monthly system access fees, Sstomcaneg ieek ong neaaaddmeamen eenaetioen cnnda htmatinn Comet inc. Ail ights reserved Tommy Hilfiger, Seaaglisn caan aides aieiptemoagavusenianmrecheny tieigeteee bee ™ Rogers Communications Inc. Used under License. ® AT&T Corp. Used under License. See store for full details surrounding campus calling.
‘THE GATEWAY « volume XCI0 number 3 ADVERTISEMENT 1 3
No parking left? There’s a simple, more affordable way to get fo campus.
* * *
Here's your shot at stardom!
The jackets ARE bright yellow.
Safewalk is recruiting! Apply now!
Application Deadline: September 19, 2003
by 5:00pm
Available at:
Information Desks, Gh) Safewalk Office (030E SUB) "i ‘B GN V
and on our website
v\ 7 V Safewalk Starts: (eH ) 77 September 8, 2003 )
Vaddans | : Monay “Saturday \Y i | { = ee aha es Call 496-1611 to plan your trip on ETS... a a
nd eav the ving (and parking) to us.
4-WALK-ME
cn www.takeETS.com www.su.ualberta.ca/safewalk Aa i - - n hon Bees ts ' ee » A FREE service of your Students' Union »
CAN'T SLEEP?
HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED INSOMNIA | OVER THE PRECEDING MONTHS?
FRESH DONUTS - PASTRIES - FAIR TRADE COFFEE
\. y,
Coffee with a conscience
FAIR TRADE CERTIFIED
You may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study testing a new sleep medication that may help people who have insomnia.
Call 407-3331
CERTIFIE EQUITABLE
University of Alberta The Psychopharmacology Research Unit 9:00-4:30 Monday to Friday and please leave a message. A NEW Service of your Students' Union! Main Floor SUB »
REQUIRES 5 DAYTIME CLINIC APPOINTMENTS AT THE RESEARCH UNIT OVER 4 WEEKS
14 K ATURE tuesday, 9 september, 2008
Words and Photos: Mark N Barker
Screen captures courtesy of BioWare
As | wandered around Whyte Ave,
trying to find BioWare Headquarters, | looked to the left and the ey searching for some telltale sign of high-tech industry within the artistic and alternative center of Edmonton. Eventually | came to a nook in a brick wall a worn and cracked address meekly viewable over a pair of glass doors. A taking an elevator to my destination floor, following hallways of more chipp paint and drywall and arriving at a door fitted with a rusty doorknob and a cheap plastic doorbell loosely screwed to the edge of the doorframe, | co help but wonder what sort of nickeLand-dime outfit this was. But, of cours as millions of gamers worldwide already know, BioWare is anything but.
BioWare was founded in Edmonton in 1995 by three medical practitioners Dr Ray Muzyka, Dr Greg Zeschuk, and Dr Augustine Yip, who decided to throw away their stethoscopes to release a PC game called Shattered Si Since then, BioWare Corp has become one of North America's fastest
growing companies, establishing itself as an internationally recognized ford in electronic entertainment in less than seven years.
BioWare first came into the international spotlight in 1998 with the releag ) of the critically- and consumer-acclaimed Baldur's Gate series to the vided gaming world, in time selling over five million units. Since then, the compa has become. a.world leader in the development. of electronic role-playing and has moved on to create many more successful game titles, " including the fastest-selling Xbox game ever created, Star Knights of the Old Republic.
such a proven track record, the future for BioWare is likely more of games, games, and more games, including a PC version of Knights e Old Republic, a bigger, badder take on Baldur's Gate, and an Xbox ti i rently being shrouded in the utmost professional secrecy.
‘ing BioWare's offices, one is repeatedly reminded of their amazing
s story. The walls of the waiting area are lined with plaques, picturg displays of awards and product artwork. A quick shift of my head to t revealed an impressive reception area filled with frighteningly luxurious ic chairs, Jedi Knights and huge pieces of mesmerizing artwork distracted me from the fact that | could scarcely move beyond the s of the reception area since every corner of any space | could see} filled to the brim with various forms eos
Fe ociated with being involved in computer ga tore than a casual level is still rampant: yoq out of shape, you're a forty-six-year-old vi
Jat is it that makes BioWare the marvel of the gaming industry? It ; down to the modus operandi of the company. “Everything around ally Casual,” explained PR Specialist Tom Ohle. “But everyone's really go it they do.” This attitude is no doubt the reason for the relaxed and atmosphere around the office; the company appears to take pridej-
THE GATEWAY « volume XCIN number 3
FEATURE 5
making its employees want to be there.
Besides the usual company picnics and ultimate Frisbee tournaments, the company boasts a rec-room featuring ping pong, foosball, and of course, each and every video game system you can hook up to a 50-inch TV. When asked if Id like a coffee, and | jokingly answered that | was a “latté man,”
the next thing | knew | was talking to BioWare staff with a freshly made latté in hand.
From the looks of the BioWare office, the video game industry appears to be one of the most fun and interesting industries to be involved in. Yet the stigma that video games are for little boys and nerds prevents the industry "} from getting the type of respect and recognition it often deserves.
4 The stigma associated with being involved in computer gaming on anything more than a casual level is still rampant: you're a geek, you're out of shape, : youre a forty-six-year-old virgin. And while these perceptions are, in my experience, often untrue, the computer gaming industry's history of being fairly cliquey and primarily male-dominated hasn't helped its outsider status. But lately, the industry has seen some changes that have brought more and more women into the fold at all levels, and video-gaming demographics are expanding. As buying video games and systems becomes more mainstream, _ the industry is gaining a general social acceptance.
_ Ohle admits “We have a long way to go ... but the industry is moving forward,” | in as far as people are not seeing gamers and game-makers, as “geeks,” but Ohle still mentions that, “when you go out to a bar and someone asks you
| ‘what do you do?’ and you say ‘i make video games, they'll go ‘well... cool,” said 4 Ohle, imitating a nonplussed reaction.
_ But BioWare's creative team doesn't care if a few luddites call them nerds.
| ‘I love my job,” bursts BioWare artist Michael Trottier. A level designer,
_ Trottier creates the fantastical backdrops of BioVVare games, and he had the _ pleasure of putting his design skills to use on BioVVare's most recent past
- project, Star Wars: ph Noe of the Old Republic.
; Asie Thora the Sificaky aff any tieAnical honda. Trottier gets a kick out
_ of designing video game environments. But the main reason he’s in love with _ his job is the absolute creative freedom it affords. “We are given very free
_ reign to turn any environment into exactly what we imagine,” he says. “We
_ can create anything that we can picture. | wouldn't lie and say that this is a simple process, but it adds @ certain excitement to the jab when you can sit _ back and think that given enough effort, anything is possible.”
_ At BioWare, anything does indeed seer possible, including the possibility _ Of playing video games for a ii Ae That's part of what Janice Thoms does — asan eh oad ea
: Thoms, a programmer, is one of the team: Serhers we has the privilege —
_ they work. But as a programmer, See ee eae : Week
such, her job description is more about coding graphical interfaces and working on a game's characters’ artificial intelligence.
But Thoms is definitely of the opinion that working at BioWare is amazing. She beams about how getting the chance to work with George Lucas’ LucasArts on the Star Wars project, “was a once in a lifetime experience, having grown up as a fan of the Star Wars universe.”
Perhaps even more amazing is that Thoms had the opportunity to do this all in Edmonton. After earning her degree in Computing Science at the U of A ten years ago, Thom found herself doing all sorts of work in the computing field, from technical support to robotics, jobs which saw her relocate to Ontario. But a return to Edmonton gave her the opportunity not only to
fulfil the dream of contributing to the Star Wars universe, but to make
the “fantastic change” to take a job in a creative working environment that she “immensely enjoys.”
“IFadds a certain excitement to the jab when youcansit back and think that given enough effort, anything is possible.”
Michael Trottier, BioWare designer
_ of being one of the first ta demo new company game projects, testing how =
oe oo ah sata aaa iabetedape Sd elect eds
She does, however, have a word of warning for those with visions of Jedis in their eyes, cautioning, “working in this industry is not for everyone. | think some people just think it would be a cool job, and don’t realize how competitive it can be, and how long the hours sometimes are when youre trying to put that final polish on a game before it goes out the door. You really need to have a genuine desire to be here if you want to succeed.”
With most of the North American game-development industry located in the area of California known as “Silicon Valley,’ BioVVare’s Whyte Avenue location © makes the company seem all the more exceptional. PR-man Ohle explains an Edmonton location definitely has its benefits, pointing to how the operating costs of an Edmonton business (office leasing, etc) are considerably cheaper than one in a Californian location.
Pate the greatest benefit is how BioWare's decision to stay local i is boosting Edmonton's profile in many media, technology and entertainment circles, BioVVare keeps in touch with many institutions all over North America, looking for new talent and spreading its name. But, says Ohle, “with a great educational system in Edmonton, we have lots of extremely talented individuals applying for positions. There really isn’t much of a downside to doing business here other than the slightly longer ne time required to travel to our publishing partners and press.”
Visiting BioWare, there's the sense that its founders saw their hometown and applied the same creativity and innovation required of the company's designers and programmers to create a veritable Silicon Hallway over Whyte Ave. It's that sense of imagination that employees like Michael — Trottier and Janice Thoms believe make their jobs so extraordinary. And it's also that sense of imagination that makes anything, oe eet
sports@gateway.ualberta.ca + tuesday, 9 september, 2003
CORY WANLESS “GIMME AN A!” Golden Bear receiver Andrew Ginther (27) narrowly misses this pass attempt.
Bears drop home opener
Football squad handed second loss by less than a touchdown
BRYAN LEE Sports Staff
Appearances can be deceiving.
Foote Field had everything a Saturday evening home opener should have: a big crowd, pro- fessional-looking turf and an atmosphere thick with the promise of an entertaining match-up. However, it was clear from the start that this was not going to be the day for the Bears foot- ball team in their contest with the Saskatchewan Huskies.
The speakers ominously cut in and out while attempting to play the national anthem. Veteran Mark Wojcicowsky made a great play early to recover his own punt, only to have his 22-yard field goal attempt bounce off the uprights. A jack- rabbit's sprint across the field was the most enter- taining aspect of the first quarter. And to top it all off, the second-ranked Huskies kicked the win- ning field goal with only 20 seconds to go.
“Tt makes the loss a lot harder just because it was so close and we are so good,” fullback Tim Hetherington said after the 13—10 loss. “We gave that game to them.”
Alberta had the edge in the mostly uneventful first half because of Saskatchewan's failure to establish an air attack. After Jason Milne inter- cepted his first pass attempt, Huskies quarterback Steven Bilan was hesitant for the rest of the game, and the few pass attempts he did make were knocked down by the aggressive Bears second- ary. Bilan finished with only eight completions for 104 yards.
Conversely, Bears QB Darryl Salmon had 298 yards in the air, finding some rhythm in the second quarter, and the Bears went ahead 10-0 thanks to two big receptions by Andrew Ginther and a touchdown toss to Andrew Ford. The
10-7 halftime lead could have been larger, but the Bears bogged themselves down with holding and illegal procedure penalties.
“We had some uncharacteristic, bad penalties. That’s a case of players working too hard and pushing the envelope,” explained head coach Jerry Friesen. The Bears racked up 135 penalty yards in the game.
Saskatchewan evened the match on a third quarter field goal, and it was the Bears defence that kept Alberta in the game after two inter- ception tosses by Salmon in the final quarter. Garrett Houle’s field goal block especially got the promotional “Thunder Stick” noisemakers going and kept the score deadlocked, but after pinning Saskatchewan deep in their own end in the final two minutes, the Huskies marched to the Bears’ 25-yard line to set-up the winning kick. The drive was spearheaded by David Stevens’ solid rushing and an ill-timed unsportsmanlike con- duct penalty, courtesy of the Bears.
“We had them down on the two yard line and we let them out of the gate. That was a critical drive. It shouldn’t have come down to that though. We had opportunities to make plays during the game whether it was in the first half or in the second half to get things done,” sum- marized a disappointed Friesen.
“U of A plays us tougher than any other team we face. When we come here, we know it’s going to be a battle,” Huskies Jeffrey Piercy said. Piercy lead the Huskies with 35 yards receiving, including their lone touchdown and the critical catch that put the Huskies in field goal range.
“Both teams made mistakes, but we're just thrilled to get out of here with a win.”
Next up for the Bears (0-2) is a road affair with the UBC Thunderbirds (0-1). Both teams are hunting for their first wins of the season.
SPORTS IN BRIEF
In front of a packed house on Saturday night, the Golden Bears (0-2-0) were handed a 13-10 loss by the University of Saskatchewan Huskies (2-0-0).
The Bears’ offence was able to pick up 444 offen- sive yards compared to the Huskies’ 289, but 135 yards in penalties ultimately would cost the Bears what could have been a victory.
FieldHockey
The Pandas field hockey team hosted a three-team tournament with the University of Calgary Dinos and local club team Edmonton Vipers. The Dinos defeated the Pandas 2-1 in the final on Sunday, leaving the hosts with a second place finish.
Soccer
Foote Field was the site for a pre-season U of A Alumni tournament, which included the Golden Bears, a Bears Alumni team, the Grant MacEwan Griffins, and the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns.
It was an all-Alberta final Sunday, as the Golden Bears beat their Alumni predecessors 4-1, with Grant MacEwan completing the Edmonton sweep, winning the bronze 3—1 over Lethbridge.
Bizarre Sports Recollections byJoel Chury
How to almost be fired as a caddy: In the 2001 British Open, golfer lan Woosnam’s caddy Myles Byrne improperly counted the clubs in his boss’ bag, costing Woosnam his tie for the lead.
How to actually get fired as a caddy: Byrne slept in the next day with the key to the locker containing Woosnam’s golf shoes, thus breaking the caddy car- dinal rules of “Show up, Keep up, and Shut Up.”
Stewart brothers lives honoured
Memorial run held for distance runners Bryan and Gerry Stewart who went missing this summer
ERIN LOXAM Sports Staff
Loss is very common in sports. While games and championships are lost, each year teammates are lost to injury and graduation. For the U of A cross- country and track and field programs, as the team reunites after the summer, a much more difficult loss will be dealt with. While many of the athletes
‘of the team will return for more competition, dis-
tance runner Brian Stewart will not.
This summer, Brian and his older brother Gerry—who helped promote the stature of the cross-country program in the mid 1990s—went missing on Mt Elbrus in southern Russia. As climbers, both men had extensive experience; Gerry had even done research on the region. But despite the efforts of rescue teams and family, the search was called off 7 July, roughly two weeks after they went missing.
Though they are gone, their memories live on in the hearts of many. Members of the track team joined friends and the Stewart family for a short memorial run on Saturday morning followed by a remembrance service and barbecue in the after- noon.
Georgette Reid, head coach of the University track program spoke of Brian’s visual influence on the run. “He'd always wear really funny things like tartan shorts, so Saturday when everyone is running they'll wear patterned shorts with bright coloured tops,” said Reid. “He was never really colour-coordinated, so that'll be the honourary theme of the run.”
Athletes, friends, classmates and family mem- bers took part in the first of several activities that will honour the brothers. Others include the Stewart Cup and a tribute at this year’s Turkey Trot. The latter event was a favourite of Gerry, who would organize the event's biggest team— the “Chimichangas’”—each year. The cross coun-
try runners who knew Gerry and Brian have been instrumental in organizing these activities.
“Without question, the support that we've gotten has been one of the main reasons that we are still functioning as a family now,” said David Stewart, older brother of the two incredible men, and U of A alumnus.
The Stewart's were a family who left their mark on the University in many ways. Several of the siblings attended the university and participated on the track and field and cross-country teams. In addition to their racing talent, they were amazing students. This year, Gerry was to begin a residency in nephrology (kidney treatment) at the U of A hospital, while Brian followed in the steps of his brother in his fourth year as a medical student.
“Brian was always trying to live up to Gerry's standards,” said friend Jon McGavock, “and we were all trying to live up to Brian. The both of
them set standards without being overt about it. the opportunity to meet the brothers.
They set standards that all of us need to live by.”
The life of a varsity athlete is not an easy one. Both of the young men were able to balance a difficult academic load, stay committed to their family and religion, give absolutely everything on the track, and be a friend to many.
“Everybody always says—Aw, they're a great person—once they are gone. But people said that about Brian when he was still here,” explained teammate Blaine Woodcock.
Saturday's run paid tribute to the fallen team- mates, and would familiarize new team members with the contributions of the brothers.
“We have a lot of new guys coming up and it’s important for them to understand how much (Brian) meant to all of us, what kind of a good person he was. They need to see some sort of legacy,” added McGavock. That legacy will have no trouble living on in the memory of all who had
®
MAYLENE LOVELAND MEMORIAL RUN Runners wearing tartan shorts and bright shirts just as Bryan Stewart used to,
THE GATEWAY + volume XCI0 number 3
SPORTS 47
Nobody is reading this article
JOEL CHURY
Ramblings from Moose Lodge
With the lights still glowing over an empty Foote Field on Saturday night, I was approached in the pressbox after the Bears football game by Team 1260 Total Hockey host and sports announcer for 88.5 CJSR Bob Stauffer. He pointed out how much I've writ- ten about the Calgary Flames, and how nobody in this city could care less about that team.
I tried to disagree, but to no avail, as it was painfully obvious that he was right.
Now, I’m quite used to harsh real- izations that have been presented for me by other people. As Editor-in-Chief Chris Boutet likes to remind me every time we run into one another at the office, “Nobody reads your section, Chury.” I usually smile and look for his signal to let me know that he’s joking, but I receive only a look of pity, a disapproving shake of his head, and a closing of his office door.
“Not even we do,” reinforce my par- ents in their daily emails and weekly phone calls.
So, sitting there in the pressbox, by now empty and cold, I realized that I would have to get into the mindset of the Edmonton sports fan. Unfortunately, I can’t force myself to take on the Oil as my NHL repre- sentative, so my focus would have to start at the grassroots level. Enter the University of Alberta sports program.
I told him I was researching a story on fandom for the Gateway, to which he replied that no one read the sports section
Giving up on the U of C Dinos when I moved here was easy. I already hated that school with every grain of hate in my hate-dispensing body. Yes, when it came to varsity sports, I would prove to be easy pickins for those loveable Bears.
Because intrepid super-reporter Bryan Lee was already covering the game story, I was in essence there to enjoy the ambiance of a University football game. The first home game of the season is always one of the best
to attend, as that’s when there's always still a playoff hope for your favourite team. I go through this every year with the Flames.
Oops—lalready forgot. Flames equal bad reference.
However, this venue would not dis- appoint, except for the 13-10 score, which was in fact quite disappointing. During the first half alone there was a rabbit that somehow got onto the field and proceeded to streak with no clothes on for 60 yards.
Young and old would attend this game, giving variety to the stands. Unfortunately for me, the people sitting in front of me were the latter, including Grumpy St Grumperson who wouldn't allow me to bang together my free U of A Thunder Sticks. He claimed the noise was impeding his enjoyment of the game; I told him I was researching a story on fandom for the Gateway, to which he replied that no one read the sports section anyway.
I quietly sat and finished up the game glued to my seat with my ego and Thunder Sticks deflated. Not only that, but there was no way that my get-drunk-and-streak-the-field _ plan would ever work with this guy and his senior cronies providing crowd con- trol. It wouldn't have mattered anyway; that bastard bunny had already stolen my act.
DAVE MORGAN HEADS UP Soccer season starts next Friday for both the Bears and Pandas.
SU by-elections
We are now accepting nominations for the Students' Union by- election to be held in several faculties on September 23 and 24. The positions available are listed below by faculty.
Faculty of Agriculture /Forestry /Home Economics 1 Students' Union Councilor Seat
1 Students' Union Councilor Seat 2 General Faculties Councilor Seats
Faculty of Arts
Faculty of Education 3 Students' Union Councilor Seat
: 4 General Faculties Councilor Seats 1 Students' Union Councilor Seat 1 General Faculties Councilor Seats
Faculty of Engineering
1 Students' Union Councilor Seat
Faculty of Medicine /Dentistry 1 General Faculties Councilor Seats
Faculty of Nursing 2 Students' Union Councilor Seat
Faculty of Open Studies 2 Students' Union Councilor Seat Faculty of Pharmacy 1 Students' Union Councilor Seat
Nomination Packages afe available from 2-900 SUB, 302K SUB, or online at www.su.ualberta.ca/election04/byelection03
Nominations are due on September 12 at 5 pm.
ote
STUDENTS' UNION ELECTIONS 2003
COME
p
This man is being carted off ona stretcher wearing a neck brace anda blanket to cover his shame. He hit his head on the ice trying to streak during an NHL game wearing only a pair of red socks. He was bet the cost of his textbooks in order to do it. His fame lasted more than 15
minutes. You too, could have your fifteen minutes—while wearing your clothes, no less—if you wrote sports. No free textbooks though...
Volunteer for Gateway Sports THE GATEWAY
WATCH US & ay www.bears.ualberta.ca
18 AL WERTISEMENT tuesday, 9 september, 2008
University of Alberta Alumni Association 2003 Alumni Advantage Scholarship de | l Banking
The University of Alberta Alumni Association is awarding two $2500 Your scholarships (one undergraduate and one graduate). To be eligible to RBC ROYAL BANK apply for these scholarships you must: All-Inclusive STUDENT BANKING
package GIVES YOU
1) Be a full-time continuing student at the University of Alberta;
2) Show proof of high academic achievement (GPA of 7.5 or 80% ° 25 self-serve debit transactions per month
or ener) e An RBC Royal Bank Client Card featuring free automatic
enrolment in the Student Price Card* program
3) Be the recipient of no other major scholarships or awards (major
: e Free Online & Tel ki awards are valued at $2500 or higher); and ree Oi
¢ No fee Royal Bank Student Visa* ts 4) Be either an alumnus of the University of Alberta or a daughter, Classic II Card upon credit ma. son, granddaughter, or grandson of an alumnus. ° All for $3.50 per month Us
Student loan options and more Details available from
To apply for these scholarships, please pick up your application form at the reception desk at the Office of Alumni Affairs (6th floor, General
Services Building) or go online and visit www.ualberta.ca/alumni/advantage RBC Royal Bank Visit our Web site at www.rbcroyalbank.com/student Visit us at RBC Royal Bank, 10843-82 Ave. RBC Deadline for applications is OCTOBER 15th, 2003 (780) 448-6900 Se Royal Bank RBC}
™ Trademark of Royal Bank of Canada. RBC and Royal Bank are registered trademarks of Royal Bank of Canada. * Royal Bank of Canada, licensee of trademark.
x. €4 ML-1430 The compact 15 ppm ML-1430 laser printer. Featuring 600 dpi with 150 sheet paper bin, and the TonerSave button — which extends cartridge capacity by 40%.
44 SyncMaster 750S-Ivory The Samsung SyncMaster 750s is a 17-inch CRT monitor offering 1280x1024 resolution, 0.24mm horizontal dot pitch, scanning frequency of 30-70 kHz horizontal and 50-160 Hz vertical.
SyncMaster 753DF >> DVD-P331 2
| Samsung SyncMaster Samsung DVD-P331 has a multitude 93DF is a 17-inch Flat CRT of features to satisfy all of your digital
viewing needs. Delivering a high
ontal dot pitch, 1280x1024 - quality progressive scan (480P) ution, scanning frequency of picture, it reads MP3, Microsoft WMA, Zz horizontal, 50-160 Hz DVD-R, SVCD, VCD, Picture-CD and
even JPEG CD.
| 44 SyncMaster 150N | The Samsung SyncMaster 150N is a 15-inch TFT-LCD offering a ' ie 330:1 contrast ratio, 250 cd/m2 _ at U fA
Brightness, 1024x768 resolution, cee Ot 0.5” ultra-thin Bezel and re MicroStore
wall-mount capability.
SAMSUNG DIGITa/
Visit www.samsung.ca everyone's invited.
Available at the U of A Microstore, Basement, Students' Union Building
THE GATEWAY + volume XCI nuraber 3
comics 49
VARSITY HAPPENINGS by Bill Benson
MOVIE LOVERS by Willy Winters
Hey, do you like Cuba Gooding, Ie. movies ?
| There's SNOWDOGS, and
vh, that “Show me the Money * mMovie..-
anyway, hes in this New movie with Beyonce
ANNA by Megan Simko MAY THE WO? | | LIKE? IF IGeT AB HAC, CAN WILL THAT BE aac Vee NECA FOR ais ALL MISS!7f
1 LIKE YOUR HAT!
a: ITs
MANDATORY. \
A
For A PATTY AND USE MY Ow BUN AND ToPPINas AT HOME? iS IT CAEAPER
IF NOTHING 4S IN A CONTAINER 2 ON SECOND
CAN 1 WAVE A FILET O° FISH INSTEAD? | LOVE FISH! Ps
ru Bet!
CARCINOMA REDOES THE CLASSICS by Loyd Majeau
WHERE'S MY FREE SMILE?
)
cut one!
\
(sor REDOES, THE
CAdssicS!
TRIS Week...
FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON
DUH, IM CHARLIE GORDON. SCLENTISES Are GONNA MAKE
DUH, 1 DONT Feet I ZMARTER. THIS Is sTOPID.
HMM. I'M PRETTY DANN SMART. TOO BAD EVERYONE
ese 315 STUPLD.
WHAT? IM GETTING <TuPID AGAIN?
LABORATORY PURGATORY by pH, J & OCH.
Wat's Yours 7
, ae WY MY NAMES [ORE NTATION ‘eer. AATEEY MORENTATION NOTICE FOR
2()_ CLASSIFIED
CLASS]
To place aclassified ad, please call Information Services at 492-4212
FOR RENT 3 bedroom house available immediately 11015-87Ave. impeccable. Laundry. $1350 utilities included. 988-9642
MILLCREEK SE, newly renovated, 3 bedroom, main floor house, 6 appliances, garage included, will furnish if needed! $850/month, Call: 893-5560
Room for rent. Whyte ‘Avenue, 99 Street area. Furnished. Shared kitchen, bathroom and laundry. Non-smoking. $250/month, $250 damage deposit. Available 1 October. Call 439-3186.
Parking Space ForRent. Parking: space >available 108 Street & 84 Avenue with plugins. $30lmonth, call 452-6602
: rsity Parking. 431- -0990_ ; 3 parking spots close to University. $30 per at 432- 6560
Rooms for Rent in South Side townhouse. $4oolmonth. Share utilities. Available Immediately. Phone 989-5225
Parking spot available. Five minute walk to campus. $35/month. Contact Mike at 438-4134
Parking available, 5 minutes university. z 2 Cars, $solmonth for each. 438-0856
One bedroom for rent in a bright, quiet, clean duplex. $375/mo. Utils incl. Female only. Walking distance to groceries and amenities. Direct bus to U of A. Call Sarah at 709-4804.
FOR SALE
Single bed, frame, mattress, headboard and footboard $100. Queen size bed and frame S75. 4442193
1986 ToyotaCorolla sspeed- 5 doorhatchback. New front brakes, Newer muffler tires and battery. Well maintained, all service records exellent condition 172000 Km. $2500 obo. Phone 453-7061
94 Ford Probe GT Blue, 5 speed, alc, lady- driven 180000km. Asking for $6800 obo.
945-74391435-8031_ SERVICES
Buying orsellinga property? Nocommission. Call 436-0444. www.propertyguys.com _
ESL tutor available. MED 6 years experience. $2olgomin lesson.988-7785 kbaxter@ualbertaca Need to sell? Need to buy? Free online classified ad! Visit. Edmonton Posting at www.edmposting.com. _
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ASL Sign Language class level one begins 16 September, 2003 for twelve weeks: Tuesdays, 6:30-9:30pm. Contact Specialized Support and Disability Services, U of A, 492-3381,
® ie)
2-800 SUB for more information.
Flea Market and Rummage Sale. Saturday, 13 September from 8:30am to 2:30pm. St. Paul’s United Church. 11526-76ave. (#7 bus to door) Free Admission. Something for everyone!
EMPLOYMENT - FULL TIME
Personal care aid required for male quadriplegic. Weekday live-in personal care aid required. Job description suitable for full- time or part-time student as free time is available during day and evening. $513/week approximate. For information contact Mark at quadguy@shaw.ca or 476-4391
Telephone Interviewers. Ekos Research is looking for confident outgoing people to be involved in leading social/policy research. All candidates must have strong communication skills and an articulate, friendly telephone demeanor. We provide a full two-day training session at your starting wage of $9.0o/hour. For more information about Ekos please visit our web site at www.ekos.com or call 408-5225. We look forward to hearing from you.
Stock Brokers, Assistant/Sales Telemarketer.
Work from home, 7-10 hours per week. 8
dollars per hour, plus commission. Call Riley at
418-7282 pe Rages
Part Time Work Great Pay! Flexible schedules ideal for students customer servicelsales conditions apply. South 436-9444 North
497-7701 wwweamparttime. comlab
Part time child care workers required ASAP
for nonprofit school age child care program.
Available shifts 7-9l10am or 2/3-6pm. Phone Dorthy at 435-4532.
Immediate Openings for market research
interviewers. Our business is growing and so are we! Criterion Research, Alberta's leading full service marketing research firmlocated in central Edmonton is looking for people with excellent communication skills to join our call center team. If you're interested in being part of an exciting and fast-paced environment, we'd like to hear from you. Absolutely no sales involved. Wages start at over Sglhour and we offer flexible hours. Full training provided, and many opportunities for advancement. Please fax or email your resume to: Suite 101, 10155 114 Street, Edmonton, Alberta, T5K 1R8. By fax: 425-0400. By email: HR@CriterionResearchCorp.com
VOLUNTEERS WANTED
Volunteer Assistant for Kids’ Karate Club, ages 6-12. One hourlweek. Thursdays at 4pm, two blocks from UofA Campus. 2+ years experience in any Martial Art. Email WPKKC_Sensei@hotmail.com or phone Gordon at 492-9930 (weekdays)
It only takes an hour. Be an In-School Mentor. You'll be matched with a student in one of 40 Catholic and Public elementary schools in Edmonton, Parkland, Strathcona. Your weekly one-hour visits take place at the school during school hours. Together, you'll read, share stories and build a special friendship. It’s a great experience, fun and good for you! Supported by: United Way Alberta Capital Region, Edmonton Community Foundation, Best Buy Canada and an Anonymous Donor. Call Big Brothers Big Sisters today. 424-8181.
Volunteers wanted to teach piano to children in inner city schools with Heart of the City Piano Program. Experience an asset but not required. For info, email: vsands@ualberta.ca.
Lt 244400 322} 1284gP10N\,
Misettore
tuese }septemb
WordPertfect® Office 11
WordPerfect” Office 11 is a different kind of productivity suite. It’s not just innovative, it’s intelligent. The software responds to your needs, extends beyond your desktop, and integrates with other classroom tools and technologies-intelligent features that make it easier for students and educators to create, exchange and interact with content. Flexible file sharing options, new XML integration and enhanced PDF publishing improve efficiency for both students and educators. WordPerfect Office 11-the intelligent choice for education.
Available at the U of A Microstore Basement, Students’ Union Building
THE ALL-IN-ONE
X1150
Even works for you between assignments. Crunch time, down time, anytime. The new Lexmark X1150 prints, scans, or copies almost anything. Whenever, whatever, whomever. Get one working for you.
xr
LEXM,\RK
We're Always Working.